It's officially time to call it — the Miami Hurricanes 2018 are an unmitigated disaster. Sitting in fifth place in the ACC Coastal Division with four losses and a current Sports Illustrated prediction of a meeting with USF in the Gasparilla Bowl is enough. Little to nothing has gone right for the Hurricanes this year, and with two road games left against schools that have given the Canes a hard time in the past, it seems likely another L or two is on the way before the season mercifully concludes.
So much has gone wrong, in fact, that we've compiled a list. A beautiful list of terrible things we've placed in chronological order to best map out just how things went south for Miami this season.
1. The Hurricanes redesigned the Turnover Chain. They should not have done that. Do you know why the saying goes "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"? It's because if something isn't broken, YOU DON'T FIX IT! The Canes' original Turnover Chain had great juju. Everyone loved it. It worked wonders for team morale and motivation. The Canes decided to throw away the old, original U design in favor of a blinged-out Sebastian the Ibis.
You never mess with the good juju. The Canes broke this rule, and it's undoubtedly the reason they stink this season. You can't say it isn't!
2. Mark Richt started the season with Malik Rosier. Mark Richt probably doesn't love himself some Malik Rosier, but it's pretty apparent he isn't a huge fan of redshirt freshman N'Kosi Perry, either. Richt decided this season would be best in the hands of Rosier, even as every Canes fan who watched the team lose the last three games of 2017 could have told him there was no reason to go back to the Rosier well.
Perry is an unknown, erratic young quarterback who can't be fully trusted. Perry is also not Malik Rosier and could have been a known commodity, good or otherwise, by now if the Canes had simply invested in him. He couldn't have possibly done worse than 5-4. Instead of the Canes knowing what they have in Perry, the team now sits in
3. Mark Richt plays midseason quarterback hokey-pokey. After Rosier underperformed (shocker) and the fan clamor for Perry grew, a quarterback switch was finally made and Perry got his first shot at the big time against Florida State. All Perry did in that game was throw four touchdowns and lead the Canes to a frantic second-half comeback win.
That performance bought Perry, the possible quarterback of Miami's future, exactly 45 seconds. The minute Perry stepped in a pothole and had a bad moment, Richt pulled him and reinserted Rosier. Then the reverse happened. Then everything reversed again. In and out. Out and in. Perry and Rosier playing musical chairs. What a mess.
The result has been a team that has zero identity, no idea whether Perry is worthy of a 2019 shot, and, worst of all, a 5-4 record. Richt continues to say Rosier gives the Canes "the best chance to win"; then the Canes lose in a game where he quickly pulled Rosier.
Richt really messed around and crapped the bed on this one.
4. Mark Richt refuses to let someone else call the plays. The Canes have talent. They have athletes some of the schools they've lost to this season
Richt clutching the play-call sheet after these results
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So hey, #Canes could have a 5th straight primetime game at VT, maybe.— StateOfTheU.com (@TheStateOfTheU) November 5, 2018
5. The Canes keep getting prime-time games; they do not want those things. Nobody sneaks up on anyone in a prime-time game. You get the other team's best shot. You get the drunkest college students. You get the bright lights and Braveheart atmosphere. None of that is good when you're a team that is struggling.
The last thing Miami needs is more road prime-time games. But it sure as hell looks like UM is about to get two more of them. The players shouldn't have to care about this, but here we are. Miami fans would normally love more prime-time games, but this season being a great rating sell has come back to haunt them.
Even when it's Duke at home, it's best if Miami plays at noon. This weekend in Atlanta and next week in Blacksburg are likely to be two more under-the-light tests for Miami. Not good.