Dolphins vs. Bills: Late Ryan Tannehill Fumble Leads to 23-21 Buffalo Victory

With 2:57 left in the game and a one-point lead, the Dolphins opted to pass on second and eight rather than run the ball, and Tyson Clabo played turnstile for the eighth time this season to yield Mario Williams' sack/fumble on quarterback Ryan Tannehill. That extremely questionable play call by the Dolphins resulted in a (what else?) Dan Carpenter 31-yard kick that essentially sealed an improbable win for a Buffalo team that had been an eight-point underdog going into the game and had an undrafted practice squad player under center.

The Dolphins are now 3-3, and many people are wondering if, in fact, it was maybe, possibly never "Our Time," as the Dolphins' management would very much like you to believe -- please. Rather, the Dolphins continue to be the anal fistula to the otherwise wonderful existence it is to be a Miami sports fan from about November to June. The issues that were evident since the preseason -- a shit-stain offensive line leading the way for an anemic run game born from a fatherless, unimaginative offensive scheme as a whole -- have not improved but are instead splitting open like a turtle-shit-crust earthquake.

The Dolphins had an entire two fucking weeks to prepare for an awful Buffalo team with a practice squad quarterback, one of the worst rushing defenses in the NFL and who hadn't won a road game in six consecutive chances. Instead, the Dolphins came out, won the toss to receive the ball, and Tannehill promptly threw an easy pick-six to put Buffalo up by a touchdown before most fans had a chance to inebriate themselves sufficiently for the real barnburner this matchup of floundering franchises promised to be.

To top it off, the Dolphins did that really Dolphins thing where they let players they've cut, traded, or otherwise jettisoned perform a colonoscopy using Lexington Steele's cock right into their collective asshole. OF COURSE, Dan Carpenter came on -- after the crowd booed him, no less -- and kicked the game-winning field goal while the guy whom the geniuses in our front office drafted missed his chance to put points on the board earlier in the game.

OF COURSE, the Dolphins punted the ball deep into Bills territory only to have one of their own pointless players touch the ball first before establishing himself back in bounds, erasing an excellent punt by ALL-WORLD TEAM MVP / FUTURE RING OF HONOR MEMBER Brandon Fields and costing the Dolphins what was essentially a 40-yard penalty after they were forced to rekick. OF COURSE, rookie LB Jelani Jenkins torpedoed headfirst into the Bills' QB (which was something called a "Thad Lewis" -- no idea what that was until Sunday) during a drive just after Brandon Gibson had his second TD of the day and the season for the Fins, and all the momentum seemed to be in Miami's favor. That penalty added 15 more yards to what had been a third-down conversion for the Bills.

For all the noise the Dolphins made prior to the start of the actual season and all the hype that generated during the first three games, the Dolphins are now spiraling out of control. The team looks flat, uninterested, uninspired, and undisciplined. There is no consistency and there's no way of knowing what the identity of the team is from drive to drive, much less game to game. The offensive line is Hindenburg-level fucked, the quarterback looks rattled (despite his occasional flashes and late-game heroic efforts that fall short), and the coaching staff can't seem to figure out WHOM to play, much less WHAT are the good plays to run in certain situations. I mean, even Jacksonville would have likely benched Ryan Clabo and Daniel Thomas by now. Problem is the guys behind them are like choosing life imprisonment over the electric chair.

The Dolphins are 3-3 and, according to this site, now have a 31 percent chance of making it to the first round of the playoffs. Some people will say, "Hey 3-3, is pretty damn good! What's all the fuss about?" But those people would probably be zombies with no brains and people not worth listening to or trusting. The Dolphins' next opponent -- the Patriots -- lost to the Jets because of a questionable call in overtime that will no doubt have Tom Brady steaming in his suede Uggs when the Dolphins head to Foxboro next Sunday. That's not good.

With a loss next Sunday, 3-0 quickly becomes 3-4, and the path to 7-9 to end the season (yet again) becomes the amazing technicolor dreamcoat of inevitability that has dogged the Dolphins for far too fucking long. Is it time to blow it up all over again if that happens? Does anyone have any idea whom we could possibly blame for it NOT being "Our Time" as we were told?

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Roger Paul