One week ago, a lifelong Dolphins fan named Lionel Lightbourne called out Mr. Margaritaville himself, Jimmy Buffett, and demanded an Internet duel for the soul of the aqua-and-orange nation.
Buffett had a new, corporate-approved anthem for the Dolphins, soullessly penned in exchange for renaming the stadium after his watered-down Budweiser-hawked beer. Lightbourne had nothing more than a family band and a dream. Let the people choose, he said, not the corporate interests.
Well, the people have spoken, Lionel. Assuming by "people" you mean "Parrotheads who found our online vote through a Jimmy Buffett fan website."
They destroyed Lightbourne's "Dol-fans 4 Life" like a drunken frat boy crushing beer cans against his forehead to the blaring jingle of "Cheeseburger in Paradise."
Here's the final tally: 72 votes for Buffett's "Phins;" four votes for "Dol-fans 4 Life;" and 11 votes for neither song or the Dolphins' original fight song, "Miami Dolphins No. 1."
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
We've all learned something here, Lionel: You just don't fuck with the Buffett.