The Dolphins' Blowout Loss to the Vikings Demolished Hopes Miami Would Make the Playoffs
Photo by Michele Eve Sandberg

The Dolphins' Blowout Loss to the Vikings Demolished Hopes Miami Would Make the Playoffs

Sequels are notoriously terrible. The Godfather III, Rocky V, and Jaws 3-D come to mind. Oh, and the week after one of the most memorable Dolphins wins of all time came a terrible followup.

Seven days after the "Miracle in Miami," there was no miracle in Minneapolis. Instead of making a stunning comeback, the Dolphins died a sleepy, serene, uneventful death against the Minnesota Vikings.

Rest in peace, sweet Miami Dolphins 2018 season. You were a hot mess and even, at times, a fun hot mess. But in the end, you were nothing but another mediocre hot mess.

After the Dolphins spotted the Vikings a 21-0 lead 14 minutes into the game, the Fins rallied to score the game's next 17 points. It seemed Lady Luck would bless Miami once more. But it was not to be.

There was not another rabbit pulled out of the helmet. No more endless handkerchiefs emerged from players' jock straps. Balloons in the shape of a chance at the playoffs did not drift skyward. All we got was just another off-season to contemplate what could have been. It was just another game of free-agency whack-a-mole to be followed by just another January of watching other teams play for a championship while Dolphins fans Google "NFL mock draft."

As usual, Dolphins fans used the internet to express their displeasure with their team and overall depression in general.

After the loss to the Vikings, Dolphins fans now return to their comfortable December cave, a place where mock drafts are pinned to the walls and potential free agents the Dolphins can overpay are arranged alphabetically on spreadsheets. If the season ended today — it doesn't, but that actually sounds pretty good at the moment — the Dolphins would hold the coveted (read: not coveted at all) 17th selection. That pick is just good enough to score the draft's second-best right tackle or — along with seven other picks — to move up in a trade for a player who will eventually disappoint us all.

It's a cruel, cruel circle of life, this Dolphins fandom. Sunday was just another rest stop. The next two weeks are just punctuation.

Good night, sweet Miami Dolphins 2018 season. There may be two more weeks left until we say goodbye, but the proper ass-kicking by the Vikings yesterday assured us there is a definite expiration date. 

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