Dolphins Implode Against Pats in 27-17 Loss

The Dolphins stormed out of the gate yesterday with a 17-3 lead. But then they did that so very Dolphins thing they do and gave up 24 unanswered points to what on paper and early on seemed like a depleted, lost, and hurting Patriots team. Alas, there is no better cure for what ails any NFL team than to play the Miami Dolphins, because they will make your team look polished, spirited, and Super Bowl-bound by comparison.

Yes, the Dolphins were coasting with a 17-3 lead by halftime, but the third quarter was atrocious. The team gave up 17 points in an implosion reminiscent of the Monday night game against the Saints. The Dolphins looked completely lost, and it didn't help that -- as usual -- the Patriots received some lovely home-cooked, Tom Brady-beneficial penalties that gave the Patriots renewed life after what seemed like drive-ending stops by the Dolphins defense. A quick rundown:

1. In the second quarter, a failed third-and-six is converted to a first down when Jimmy Wilson gets called for a phantom pass-interference penalty on Gronkowksi. The Patriots get a FG.

2. In the third quarter, a failed third-and-five is converted to a first down after Dimitri Patterson is called for a phantom holding penalty. The Patriots eventually score a TD on the continued drive.

3. In the fourth quarter, Brady is sacked on second down, and Jimmy Wilson causes a fumble. Olivier Vernon bats the ball backward, but it's recovered by the Pats' Nate Solder. Not only do the Pats keep the ball, but they also benefit from an "illegal bat" penalty on Vernon, giving the Pats ten more yards into Miami territory for a first-and-ten from the Miami 13. The Patriots score another touchdown.

If you're keeping score, the referees helped the Patriots score 17 points yesterday. AAWWW BUT DA SAWKS MIGHT LOSE DA WORLD SERIES YA CAWKSUCKA IT AIN'T FAAAAYYYAAAH.

Of course, none of this is possible without the Dolphins assisting the Patriots in their own implosion by turning the ball over, giving up six more sacks, and generally playing like refried ass all second half. Here are some of the best reactions from Twitter during yesterday's fartfest:

After reviewing a Ryan Tannehill pass was shown to have been popped up and intercepted by the Pats:

And, of course, the best for last:

Things might get even worse for the Dolphins as center Mike Pouncey was served a subpoena yesterday after the game for a possible connection to that whole 'Aaron Hernandez murdering people' thing. Yeeeeeesh.

The Heat plays tomorrow night, people. Put the sharp objects away for just about 36 hours. It'll all be over soon and you'll feel Miami sports happiness again.

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