Dolphins Beat Rams 17-14 Despite Rushing for Only 20 Yards

The Miami Dolphins are 3-3 today in spite of absolutely listless performances by both teams in a boring game, a second straight game of questionable (read: crappy) officiating and the Dolphins only rushing for a total of 20 yards all game. However, the continued influence of Ryan Tannehill's burgeoning awesomeness continues to fuel the Dolphins as they plow through semi-crappy teams.

Furthermore (and perhaps more importantly), Coach Joe Philbin is getting more and more comfortable and making sound football decisions throughout the game rather than shooting himself in the foot like a Scooby Doo villain with an ill-conceived plan. The Dolphins countered the Rams' blitz game plan on defense with quick passes and three-step drops in order to get the ball quicker out of Tannehill's hands and into the hands of skill guys like Reggie Bush. Philbin showed serious gusto and trickeration by direct snapping the ball to upback Chris Clemons on a 4th quarter punt that allowed the Fins to tick off a few more precious minutes whilst holding a tenuous 3-point lead. Philbin even appeared to call a timeout to give his gassed defense a rest and simultaneously allow impending showers to move over the stadium to make it harder for the pesky Rams to score on 4th Goal from the 1.

Tricky, brass balls Philbin is MUCH more enjoyable than ice-your-own-team Philbin.

Some more highlights:

- The staples of this Dolphins season -- a stout run defense and a punishing running team on offense -- were simply not there today and the Dolphins still found a way to win. I'M NOT USED TO THIS!!! The Dolphins allowed 162 net yards rushing and 462 total net yards on defense and only accrued 20 yards rushing on offense.

-- However, the key was Ryan Tannehill made no mistakes on offense, passing for a tidy 185 yards on 21-of-29 passes and 2 TDs. Tannehill was extremely efficient again, making the obvious passes, showing great touch and finding the open man on damn near every play he dropped back (including his first TD pass to Marlon Moore where Rams DB Janoris Jenkins got caught with his eyes in the backfield and out of position). The kid is really impressing us as of late and is without a doubt the reason the Dolphins are finding ways to WIN rather than our traditional roles of being the Einsteins of Losing.

- We can't stress the role that Rams kicker Greg 'Legatron' Zuerlein had in this win, however.  Homeboy was previously perfect in his rookie season but missed THREE STRAIGHT kicks in this game, allowing the Fins to escape with a 3-point victory. Maybe it was the stink of Dan Carpenter, maybe it was the poor conditions but his misses from 48, 32 and a laughable as fuck 66 yarder to close the game were paramount to edging the Rams. Screw you, Fraulein Zuerlein!!!

- As we said above, the Dolphins fought off not only this annoying Rams team but also some incredibly shitty officiating for the 2nd straight week in a row. It might not surprise you that this asshole was involved:

Ah yes ... Referee Gene Steratore. This guy is such an asshole and, wouldn't you know it, he made several calls against the Dolphins yesterday including: 1) a blown call on a Sam Bradford fumble (recovered by the Fins) that was overturned by the infamous 'Tuck Rule' 2) a fumble on a reception by Rams receiver Chris Givens where dinkus made HIMSELF fumble with his own leg which was ruled incomplete by Steratore and company and 3) a Ryan Tannehill 'fumble' (recovered by the Dolphins) that probably should have been called an incomplete pass due to the fact RT17 was moving his arm forward just as he was hit by Jo-Lonn Dunbar. Just brutal officiating by the Steratore crew but expected from a dickface that clearly hates the Dolphins.

- And now a short presentation of this Dolphins-Rams game in cat form as written, produced and directed by yours truly. (The Dolphins are the bigger, meaner, more badass cat).

All in all, it was good win for the Dolphins as they enter their bye week and then prepare for a schedule that gets much more difficult in the coming weeks. The Dolphins next face the Jets in New Jersey (always annoying and filled with troglodytes everywhere), the unpredictable Colts in Indy and then an improving Titans team at SunLife. At 3-3, the Dolphins are in a 4-way tie for FIRST PLACE in the AFC East (!!!); what they do in these next few weeks will be telling as the season and the competition get tougher and tougher into December.

No game this week. Hit the beach, spend some time with your family. You deserve it!

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