Despite Late-Game Rally, Heat Lose to Boston for Third-Straight Time

The Miami Heat entered today's game against the Boston Celtics with a chance to take sole possession of first place in the East. They also entered the game riding a pretty nifty eight game-winning streak.

But those things quickly turned to the proverbial mound of cat turd as the C's held off a late Heat rally to beat Miami for the third time this year. Now the Heat must end the season with a better overall record than Boston if they want homecourt throughout the postseason in the East. The good news, however, is Glen Davis embarrassed himself in a most humiliating way trying to dunk the basketball. So, it wasn't a total loss.

The end began in the third quarter. Starting with Erik Spoelstra going with a starting five that included Zydrunas The Walking Barbershop Pole Ilgauskas and Mario The Useless Pustule Chalmers. Spo not only threw that starting lineup onto the court to begin the second half, but stayed with it far too long.

By the time the Heat had five guys on the floor whose hands don't inexplicably turn into shoehorns whenever they touch the basketball, it was too late. It also didn't help that the officiating crew decided to pay homage to Joey Crawford and called fouls on Miami whenever a Celtic was even remotely near the rim. Meanwhile, Kevin Garnett could've taken a fire hydrant to LeBron James' clavicle with nary a whistle being blown in Miami's favor. NBA officials are preferential assholes.

Miami entered the second half with a 43-39 lead. But Boston started the third quarter by scoring 12 of the first 13 points, taking a seven-point lead that they'd never relinquish. Things got worse when Dwyane Wade was called for a flagrant foul on Garnett (of course!) as he fought for position on a rebound. The ensuing free throws gave Boston a 13-point cushion and put Miami in a hole they would try to crawl out of for the remainder of the game. This would prove to be the Heat's downfall down the stretch.

The Heat brought the game to within three points thanks mostly to LeBron's 22 points on 10-for-21 shooting and 24 from Chris Bosh going bananas with that easy stroke of his. Wade, however, was another story. He was flustered, harassed and mostly ineffective, finishing with just 16 points on 6-of-17 shooting. If Miami is to get past Boston, Wade needs to start getting all Wadey and blow up asses like he knows how. No matter how you slice it, 6-of-17 shooting is just awful.

Now the remainder of the season for the Heat is all about getting the number one seed and then beating Boston in the playoffs. But at 0-3 against the Cs this year, it's a tall order. Still, every loss at the hands of Boston has been close. You get the feeling Miami is going to break through as soon as the referees stop being insidious dipshits and guys like Mike Miller and Eddie House hit their open looks. Also, Mario Chalmers needs to be told to arrive to the team plane one hour after it's already taken off. Every night. For the rest of his time with the Heat.

Miami hosts Boston on April 1 for their final regular season showdown.

Other thoughts:

  • The Celtics' defense continues to turn Miami into a one-on-five offense. This needs to stop if Miami is ever going to get past them. Also needs to stop: McDonald's McCafe caramel mocha commercials where that couple drums on the table because they're just so fucking happy that they have themselves some coffee. It's processed syrup and sugar, assholes. Knock it off!
  • We'd rather watch that McCafe commercial on an endless loop than to see Mario Chalmers on the court at any time other than late in a blow out.
  • Paul Pierce had an off day. He scored one point and never once had a moment where he acted like he was stabbed in the scrotum with a pencil after being fouled.
  • Seriously, it's one thing to lose a big game because your defense fails you or because you can't hit open shots or free throws. But being cockblocked by the refs' one-sided officiating is reprehensible.
  • The entire world continues to loathe LeBron James because he decided to work in another city and happened to announce that decision on a nationally televised special that no one was forced to watch. Meanwhile Kevin Garnett treats autograph-seeking ball boys with shitty contempt and uses cancer as a trash-talking tool, yet is constantly called a "warrior" and praised for his intensity. Kevin Garnett needs to be dropkicked in the throat.
  • It was a delight to see Glen Davis waddle down the court and then miss an open slam-dunk thanks to his sausages-dipped-in-gravy regiment. It's funny because he's fat, you see. But mostly, it's funny because he continues to assault the NBA with his insufferableness.

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Chris Joseph