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Matthew Whitaker
Matthew Whitaker
U.S. Department of Justice

The Weirdest Inventions Peddled by the Miami Beach Firm Tied to Trump's New Attorney General

At World Patent Marketing, every idea was a winner. The now-defunct Miami Beach-based scam invention company, which employed acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker as a paid advisory board member, greenlighted virtually everything it was pitched. In fact, the Federal Trade Commission found that sales reps were instructed to turn down an invention only if they suspected it came from an undercover federal agent.

So, to put it mildly, a lot of bizarre ideas were hawked by World Patent Marketing before it went down in flames last year, with an FTC shutdown, a nearly $26 million judgment, and an FBI investigation. Here are some of the weirdest ones.

Time travel: Want to go back and kill baby Hitler? Besides Whitaker, World Patent Marketing also claimed time travel researcher Ronald Mallett as a board member, and partnered with him on something called Time Travel X. The company claimed time travel might be possible within the next decade, and was soliciting funding for it — in Bitcoin only.

Fruit crossbred with marijuana: Some people use marijuana for medical purposes, but smoking isn't healthy, the company mused in a press release. Why not just genetically modify fruits and vegetables to include elements of weed? So-called Medicated Produce, World Patent Marketing announced, would transform marijuana into "a healthy snack."

Cooling underwear for men: Turns out the temperature of male genitalia can make or break conception. World Patent Marketing's solution was Snowballs, underwear with built-in icepacks. This one came with an ad including cartoon sperm and the memorable line, "You should start icing your balls."

A toilet for the well-endowed: The "masculine toilet" featured a larger toilet bowl with a lower water level to protect well-endowed men from undesirable contact with toilet water. Version one would have a 12-inch distance between the toilet rim and water, though a company press release said that an "extra long" [XL] version can always be created if needed."

Butt-enhancing jeans: "Evolution isn't about survival of the fittest," declares a commercial for Supreme Diva Jeans. "It's about survival of the biggest." A press release for the product explained that the padded-butt jeans would give women an evolutionary advantage. Plus, they'd be more comfortable. "I'm here to tell you, these things really work," said John Oliver, who sported a pair on his show last week for a segment on Whitaker.

Potato salad: Literally just potato salad. 

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