Photo via WPLG Channel 10

A stolen city lamppost, an Astrovan, and a dream

Move over, Texas. A South Florida resident has officially submitted his challenge for most crackheaded plan of 2008.

In April, Dallas-area's Charles Ray Fuller saw in a stolen check an opportunity to grant himself a comfortable nestegg -- filling it out for $360 million dollars.

In Miami, our crackhead of the day is a bit less whimsical, but far more industrious.

As reported by journalists who have way better hair than us , Elio Valera says he eyed a fallen Miami lightpost for three months. When nobody from the city got rid of it, Valera decided to do the city a service-- and perhaps supplement his annual malt liquor budget. He headed to a recycling center, with the lightpost -- which looks to be about 40 feet long -- roped to the top of his Astrovan.

Unfortunately, a cop spotted his rig teetering down the street. And for reasons neither Valera nor we can fathom, this sort of thing is apparently illegal.

As an added bonus, while cops were putting Valera in cuffs, another desperate soul wandered up to the recycling center with a city manhole cover in his hands. The police threw him in the squad car as well, the petty law enforcement equivalent of buying a Kit-Kat from the vending machine and a Snickers falls out too.

- Gus Garcia-Roberts

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