Art Basel Miami Beach

Top Five Things Overheard While Watching a Band at Art Basel

Everyone who went to Basel should be able to agree that that it was great. (Or at the very least "interesting.") But sometimes all that art can make you feel dumb, like maybe you just don't get it. So when we finally got tired of cracking jokes with our friends, we went for a music fix.

And here's what we discovered: Most music spectators at Basel have the attention-span of feeble-brained cats. Also, they like to talk a lot.

See the cut for Crossfade's top five things overheard while watching a band at Art Basel.

5. "I like this shit. Pretty good band. But I like my shit better."

This guy was clearly a disgruntled musician, most likely destined to slave away for the rest of his life in Guitar Center's accessories department alongside kids half his age. Are you wondering how his amazing "shit" got passed by? Guess everyone is dumb and doesn't get it, huh? 

4. "These guys suck. Can we just get a drink so we can go see some more fucking art?"

Hey, drunk Basel Girlfriend, can you please just give Basel Boyfriend a freakin' minute to feel like a guy? Even if it means watching a few songs that he clearly digs? Oh yeah, how about running to the bar and picking up those drinks yourself.

3. "It's loud! What? It's too loud!!! Can we go back by the big mushrooms?"

Hey, even lamer Basel Girlfriend, this isn't the Fraggle Rock reunion tour. Next year, you are so dumped and going with your horrible friends.

2. "Have you heard of a band called the Pimp & the Help? They're from Gainesville. These guys sound just like them"

I don't know if that is good or bad. But that's a great band name.

1. "Nobody is dancing. Do you think it's cool if we dance?"

If you have to ask ... Well, you know the saying. But thanks for coming.

How about you dance anyway? Just because it's fun. Obviously, nobody is watching ... Ahem.

-- Eric Garcia

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Miami New Times staff