Woah, wait a minute. What happened this weekend?
We thought we were in Miami. But as soon as we crossed over
Biscayne Boulevard we found ourselves in the middle of EDM insanity.
We were surrounded by thousands of colorful, crazy-eyed people-creatures. Some of them
had furry ears and tails, some of them had furry legs, and some of them had
totally lost their faces.
When we woke up this morning, we found pictures of these
strange characters all over our phone. But who were these people? Let's take a closer look at seven of Ultra Music Festival's most fascinating characters.
Strangely, most of these colorful "kids" are old enough to
feel weird dressed up like anime characters on crack. But a place like Ultra
doesn't judge, and these party warriors have likely been at their antics for
years. They're pretty much harmless, but watch out before you eat any of their
goodies, those aren't mentos they're poppin.
These bright figures of ripped masculinity roamed the green
lawns of Ultra Festival in total abundance. Everywhere you looked, you saw
another bro dressed like a hipster from 2006. Decked in all kinds of crazy
colored tight pants, neon tank tops and futuristic sunglasses, these bros couldn't
wait to get down to Kaskade. Fucking rage!
You can tell this kind by their usually long and slightly unkempt
hair. They're kind of like the hippies of the rave world, as in they're really
sweet people but often times they could use a shower. All the real bassheads
finished their Sunday smoking that la listening to Bassnectar, or they're just
not really bassheads.
They're not totally sure why they were at Ultra Fest. Their
favorite performers weren't even there, but at some much more underground hotel party. But since they bought tickets, they might as well catch Justice's set, head over to Art Department, and totally judge you in your furry boots.
Yah, yah, they're not from around here, and you can tell
because they're flashing their flag around everywhere they go, posing for
pictures with drunk American girls. They're totally stoked to be here now that
Americans love trance-step electro-house as much as they have for decades. No
literally, they've had this shit on lock.
Everyone knows the best way to party at Ultra is
anonymously. As soon as you pull that shiny mask over your face, you lose
yourself and become a whole new party being. But please, for the rest of us,
make sure you're fit before you rock the full body suit. Otherwise, it gets a
Clan Of The Bassed
Now, at Ultra, it's easy to get so fubar you don't even know who you are anymore, let alone who you came with. To make it easy, a lot of these crazed ragers come coordinated in groups, so everyone knows just by looking at them "these guys are besties." At a place like Ultra, it's definitely good to find strength in numbers.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.