Who's the biggest hater in EDM? Do we even have to dignify that question with an answer?
Deadmau5, AKA Joel Zimmerman, can't go two weeks without making some headline about how he's angry. Or he's sad. Or he's breaking up with his fiancée over Twitter. Or he's quitting Twitter. Or he thinks other DJs are stupid.
The guy is holding on to a lot of emotional baggage, and he's made it his business to share that open suitcase with the world. We'd say it's annoying, but we actually love dirty laundry. So we're airing his grievances in preparation for this Saturday's free show at Ice Palace in downtown Miami.
Just don't set off one of these trigger points and everything should be OK.
UPDATE Check out Crossfade's review and photos, "Deadmau5's Free Show for the Real Fans: "Miami's Been Redeemed.'"
Lol at the entire front row glued to their fucking phones. Much party. Many text. Wow
— deadmau5 (@deadmau5) January 2, 2014People Texting on the Dance Floor
Speaking of this free show, it all came about because broseph played a set at Mansion, and throughout the set, rich kids wouldn't stop texting in the VIP. He blamed it on the shitty bottle-service club atmosphere, but we think it might have something to do with the 45-minutes-in-lull that characterizes every Deadmau5 set we've seen since 2010. But we're critics, and we're assholes. He and us are probably both a little right.
See also: Deadmau5: "I Won't Be Playing Any More Miami Clubs"
Having to Do Anything
A-Trak is a great DJ, but there were a few years there around 2011-2012, when every one of his sets started to sound exactly the same. It was the same remixes, the same live edits, the same routines. It was boring. Then Deadmau5 came out and said, "We're all button pushers" on his public diary Tumblr, and A-Trak was all "I resent that remark." He filmed a nasty trick routine to the Mau5's "Ghosts n Stuff" and has been merkin' the decks ever sense. Deadmau5, meanwhile, still "presses play."
See also: 13 Richest DJs of 2013: From Deadmau5 and DJ Pauly D to Calvin Harris
High Ticket Prices
Deadmau5 the type of dude to write a public, angry letter to one of the biggest dance music festivals in the world about how he totally hates everything it stands for and will never again set foot upon its property, then accept a high bid to play that institution of dance and debauchery the very next year. He's exactly that type of dude.
See also: Deadmau5 Slams Ultra Music Festival Over Ticket Prices and Exclusivity Contracts
MDMA
When Madonna came out and said the one thing everyone absolutely knows to be obvious -- there's ecstasy at Ultra Music Festival -- Deadmau5, along with the rest of the world, had a shit fit. Maybe it's because she's practically pop music's grandma. Or maybe it's because some people think we're all fucking blind. But apparently, she did a bad thing. In hindsight, it's actually pretty cool, right? Keepin' it trill with the Madge. (But always party responsibly.)
See also: Deadmau5 to Madonna: "Fuck Off, You Fucking Idiot"
Weed
Turns out it isn't just hard drugs that piss Zimmerman off. Remember that time Deadmau5 had Rusko kicked out of backstage for smoking weed? Yes, this actually happened. The Mau5 went on a huge rant via Facebook about what a pothead the wobble king was, and then the rest of us collectively decided the Big Cheese needed to smoke a bowl and calm the fuck down.
"the case is" 100% of people, expect to hear new things, ever evolving sounds and compositions, new genres, originality. Fuck your mcdonalds
— deadmau5 (@deadmau5) July 9, 2013Unoriginality
Deadmau5 fed some grade-A filets to Mr. "No Beef" when he attacked Afrojack for unoriginality via Twitter. (It's kind of weird, considering everything Deadmau5 does kind of sounds exactly the same, but whatever.) Did you know Afrojack doesn't know what a "bar" is? These crazy commercial-whoring hacks, they're always up to something! You've got to love them for that.
See also: Deadmau5: EDM Is Commercial Crap, Just an Acronym for "Event-Driven Marketing"
Personal Space
You know how we know Deadmau5 is a geek? He lives his entire life online. We here at Crossfade have spent more time collectively sitting in front of a screen than we have sleeping -- maybe. But at least we keep some shit to ourselves. We watched him fall in love with Kat Von D via Facebook photo albums, watched them fall apart and come back together via Twiiter, and even witnessed the most depressing proposal of all time when he asked for her hand in marriage in 140 characters or less. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work out.
See also: Deadmau5 Proposes to Kat Von D Via Twitter After Three Months of Dating
Naming Things
Random Album Title, For Lack of a Better Name, and Album Title Goes Here are all Deadmau5 albums. He has a song called "Ghosts n Stuff," and a song called "Moar Ghosts n Stuff." He has a song called "Some Chords," and a song called "Where (Are) My Keys." You can tell he doesn't really give a shit about life or trying or even coming up with new jokes anymore. He should call all future tracks "Untitled," or even better, "Unreleased."
See also: Deadmau5's Four Most Vicious Feuds: From Madonna to Ultra Music Festival to EDM
— deadmau5 (@deadmau5) November 12, 2013
Even after all this beefing made him one of the most famous EDM stars on the planet, Deadmau5 wanted to front like he'd had enough. The call-it-how-he-sees-it producer called it quits one day, talking all this noise about how he needed to find himself and get out of the spotlight. But then he hopped right back on it three days later, because, as with most situations, he was a hypocrite.
Himself
And that brings us to the reality of the situation. If you've got a lot of anger, if you continue to say one thing and do another, and if you have to turn to the Internet for help in your darkest times, it's probably a sign that you don't have very good self-esteem. Turn that frown upside-down, Deadmau5! You're famous! Everyone loves you, but it all means nothing if you don't learn to love yourself. Who cares if you're a fake DJ by your own admission? Skrillex taught himself to DJ, and you can, too. At least learn how to use the filter.
See also:
-Six Reasons to Never Have Sex With a DJ
-Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty DJ
Deadmau5. Saturday, February 15. Ice Palace Studios, 1400 N. Miami Ave., Miami. The show starts at 10 p.m. and tickets are no longer available. Ages 21 and up. Visit icepalace.wantickets.com.
Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.
