As the dolled-up, sweaty, rip-roaringly drunk revelers counted down the final seconds of 2011, you were standing by the punch bowl (actually, it was a mop bucket) full of vodka water, frantically scanning for your boo-boo, lest you and shawty miss out on that absolutely essential stroke-of-midnight spit swap.
But what's this? The dumb motherfucker to your left wearing an NYE dunce cap screams "HAPPY..." and you see, from across the room, some other dumb motherfucker with a yard of tongue down your baby's throat. Maybe your New Year's Resolution should be to kick that triflin' ho to the curb? Or maybe she's making out with a stranger because she's got a few resolutions of her own?
But whether or not the recent holiday season completely ravaged your domestic partnership (or strained relations with your booty call), odds are you're going to get your heart stomped at some point in 2012. And you might as well be prepared with an era-spanning, all-inclusive mixtape.