Taking a page out of the Shit Miami Girls Says...and guys video, "Bro, we're getting bottles, bro."
OK, not really. We're broke. So broke, in fact, that we can barely afford a bottle of beer.
The thought of dropping mad loot on a bucket of Goose is ludicrous, especially since there's so much going on this weekend under $10.
Check out Crossfade's thrifty weekend guide after the cut.
Conjunto Progreso. Friday, January 27, 10 p.m., PAX, 337 SW Eighth St., Miami. $10. The Cuban answer to the American jam band. You don't need to be tripping on acid to enjoy their music. But we encourage drinking plenty of mojitos.
Horror Night. Friday, January 27, 8 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. $8. Two shows -- outside and inside -- for one price.
Jesse Rose. Friday, January 27, 10 p.m., Electric Pickle, 2826 N. Miami Ave., Miami. $10. Heavy-ass beats and horn honking ... Touch it, baby.
Millionyoung. Friday, January 27, 10 p.m., Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami. Free. The official Critical Mass after party is going down at The Vagabond. Don't let other lounges fool you.
Beat Machines featuring Smurphio from Afrobeta & JJ from Suenalo. Friday, January 27, 10 p.m., Tobacco Road, 626 S. Miami Ave., Miami. $5. OK, Afrobeta won't be there. But Smurphio will.
Tamboka. Friday, January 27, 11 p.m., Jazid, 1342 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. $10. Bossa nova, baby. Get it.
Dance of Devotion. Saturday, January 28, 7:30 p.m., SoundScape Park, 400 17th St., Miami Beach. Free. Classical music's great and it activates women's sexy centers. Take your girl out on a nice date for once.
Motown Brunch. Saturday, January 28, 10 a.m., Lester's, 2519 NW Second Ave., Miami. $10. Motown music and eggs benedict, yo.
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Punk legend Walter Lure. Saturday, January 28, 8 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. Under $10. This is your only chance to catch punk legend Walter Lure in South Florida.
Sons of Tonatiuh. Saturday, January 28, 9 p.m., Beelzebub's Cave, 164 NW 20th St., Miami. $5. These dudes are going to shred the shit out of you with their sweet licks. You've been warned.