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Six Reasons Riff Raff Is an Unfunny Moron

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There's a lot of talk about racial divides in this country. But there's one thing that Americans of all colors, creeds, ethnicities, and walks of life can agree on: Riff Raff is a fucking embarrassment.

Have you seen this confused individual? He's supposed to be a joke (we think), but it's one of those things where you live in the joke for so long you start to lose sight of the punch line. It's kind of like what Joaquin Phoenix did in I'm Still Here, but without any of the redeeming artistic aspects.

And no, just because Diplo thinks you're cool, doesn't mean you aren't an unfunny moron.

See also:

-Five Reasons Today's Rappers Are Fakes

He Didn't Grow Up Talking That Way

So, Riff Raff, AKA Jody Highroller was actually born Jody Christian. He's from Houston, but we doubt he's from the part that actually produces streetwise individuals. If he struggled as a child, he wouldn't walk around, acting like such a moron. Instead, his thin veil of humor and ignorant cultural reappropriations lead us to believe that he must have gone to private school, come from a good home, and been sheltered for his entire youthful existence. This man has probably never had any reason to worry in his life.

He Has an Icee Chain

Case in point: A person who's earned a dollar instead of being given one probably wouldn't spend money like a teenage girl. This goofy-ass cornbread bro has an Icee chain?! Like, it looks like an Icee that you buy at a gas station, but it's covered in precious jewels and could probably feed a whole family in Africa for a year. We assume it's supposed to be kitschy and ironic, but it just makes him look like an asshole.

He Is Famous Because He Is an MTV Whore

He has the worst taste in tattoos, but one such tattoo landed him his career. He's got the MTV logo emblazoned proudly on his neck, which is why he originally called himself MTV Riff Raff, and more than likely why he was accepted for this dumb-ass reality show that the network aired called From Gs to Gents. Lawlz, no real gangsta would be caught dead on reality TV. Even funnier, this douche wasn't even on the first season, so he's like backwater bullshit.

He's Suing Spring Breakers for $10 Million

For someone who seems to think irony is the key to hilarity, it has escaped him. He's suing Harmony Korine and James Franco to the tune of $10 million, because Franco was inspired by the joke rapper to create his character Alien. And yes, Riff Raff's Spring Breakers doppelganger is definitely an idiot, but even he comes off as more authentic than Jody Christian. This dumbass' entire shtick comes from copycatting what black rappers from Houston do. Every dollar he's earned under the moniker should be taken and given away as reparations to legit H-Town rappers and rap fans whom Riff Raff so publically mocks.

He's an Insult to All Humanity

It really doesn't matter what your background, Riff Raff is a slap in the face. Someone who feigns ignorance to such an extent for the sake of profit is nothing but a sad prostitute. If he is actually that stupid, he should feel bad about it and read a book once in a while. The people around him who help fuel his career should be ashamed of parading around such a sad parody. Whether he is serious or whether he is a giant walking joke, Riff Raff sucks.

His Jokes Aren't Even Funny

Forget the insult to humanity, forget the absurd waste of wealth, and forget the irony of his suing Spring Breakers ... This is his worst offense. If Riff Raff were actually funny at all, we might actually be OK with it. But he's not funny and his jokes are infinitely lame. Sorry, Jody, but you're shtick doesn't fly anywhere outside of Hollywood. So just go home, white boy.

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