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Six Best Parties on South Beach This Week

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It must be something in the air, but Miami is definitely one crazy city.

I mean, where else in the world would you find some of the most bizarre crimes, strangest laws (well, Florida in general), or a celeb-studded party going down at a megaclub on a Tuesday night? Only a place the wild, untamed, and beautiful call home.

Check out Crossfade's six best parties on South Beach this week.

See also:

-Five Best Concerts in Miami This Week

-New Times' Concert Calendar

Lapdance Tuesdays. Celebrating the birthday of Pistol Pete. Hosted by Fat Joe with a special appearance by Kar Rob Cash and Leader and Champagne Chris. Music by DJs Affect and Bulletproof. Tuesday, July 30, 11 p.m., Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-2667; cameomiami.com. Tickets cost $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. When the Terror Squad throws a birthday bash, you know it's gonna be "Ballin'!" Especially if it's hosted by the CEO himself, Fat Joe.

Fabolous. Thursday, August 1, 11 p.m., Story, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-538-2424; storymiami.com. Tickets cost $30-$60 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. So Fabolous won't be performing at Story per se, but y'all better get "Ready" for his Ghetto Fabolous flow and "holla back!"

Coolio. With DJ Ruen. Friday, August 2, 11 p.m. LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Tickets cost $40-$60 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Coolio may be turning 50, but he's still livin' a "Gangsta's Paradise:" he was up on that humanitarian work, gave acting a shot, and most recently, the "ghetto Martha Stewart" released a cook book. It's def been a "Fantastic Voyage" for the braided Compton rapper. Happy Birthday, Coolio!

Wolfgang Gartner. With Dave Sol. Friday, August 2, 11 p.m., Story, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-538-2424; storymiami.com. Tickets cost $30-$50 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Joseph Youngman aka Wolfgang Gartner is a perfectionist. "One of my mantras is that I have a responsibility to advance the genre," he writes on his bio. "If I'm capable of doing something I've never done before, I feel like I have to use that ability, because there are not many people who do - or can. I have to push myself real real hard to do it." Well, here's a challenge for you: pump your fists into the air as hard as Gartner pushes his uhntz-uhntz limits and see what happens. Who knows? With all that ambitious energy, you may just help start a whole nother EDM revolution.

Diplo. With EDX and DJ Mednas. Saturday, August 3, 11 p.m., LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Tickets cost $60-$75 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. "Express yourself, release the glow, attack the floor," and twerk it! Or just kick your legs in the air and shake that ass like a boss.

Dash Berlin. With Laurent Simeca. Saturday, August 3, 11 p.m., Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Tickets cost $25-$35 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. What is the future? "Dash Berlin is the future." Well, at least that what the trance genius writes on his bio. If that's the case, we can wait for the future "Till the Sky Falls Down."

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

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