Why does SoBe get such a bad rap, bro?

Sure, it's crawling with rich douchebags in button-down dress shirts. And the parking sucks. And the drinks are ridiculously expensive.

But it's also home to formerly law-breaking Frenchmen, $10 underground minimal techno throwdowns, and the Mustache Revolution. Just check out this week's six best club parties.

See also:

-Win Free Tickets for Porter Robinson, Plus Merch and Meet-and-Greet at Story Nightclub

David Guetta. Thursday, January 10, 11 p.m., LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Tickets cost $60 to $75 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Ever say, "I gotta feeling David Guetta wasn't always such a beautifully airbrushed Top 40 megastar?" Well, it's true. As the Monsieur G recently told daily newspaper Metro: "I started organizing raves when I was very young and it was against the law." From criminal party boy to millionaire pop star -- that's the EDM dream.

Marc Houle. With Danyelino and Hardline. Presented by LINK and Miami Rebels. Thursday, January 10, 11 p.m., Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-614-4478; treehousemiami.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Crazy about cerebral electronic music and literary board games? Spend Friday night with self-described "techno-producing Scrabble master" Marc Houle.

Porter Robinson. Friday, January 11, 11 p.m., Story Nightclub, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-479-4426; storymiami.com. Tickets cost $30 to $40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. If you're new to EDM, go get an education with Porter Robinson on South Beach. "Don't be ashamed," the 20-year-old guru says, "just catch up."

Alexi Delano vs. Konrad Black. With Danyelino and Hardline. Presented by LINK and Miami Rebels. Friday, January 11, 11 p.m., Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-614-4478; treehousemiami.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. What happens when these Richie Hawtin acolytes and Minus Records labelmates can't settle their differences via diplomacy? A minimal-techno war on the dance floor.

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Thomas Gold. Saturday, January 12, 11 p.m., LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Tickets cost $40 to $75 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Partying hard isn't a bad habit that needs to be corrected in the new year. Just ask German DJ dude Thomas Gold. "My resolutions for 2013: sex, hugs & rock 'n' roll."

Mustache Revolution. With DJ Nikolas. Saturday, January 12, 11 p.m., Tantra, 1445 Pennsylvania Ave., Miami Beach; 305-672-4765; tantrarestaurant.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Lip hair has been absent from nightlife since disco died. That's far too long for a club world without facial scruff. Join the Mustache Revolution!

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