| Opinion |

Rolling Stones' Open-Mouth Urinals Piss Off German Women

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Germans are notoriously kinky. But when it comes to watersports, at least 12 Deutsches are drawing a hard line at simulated restroom piss play.

According to TMZ, several women have complained about mouth-shaped urinals inside a Rolling Stones memorabilia museum restroom in Germany, calling the porcelain novelty toilet demeaning and offensive.

"If it had been based on the emblem of the Stones with the tongue, it would have been OK," says TMZ's unnamed source. "But the tongue's been left out and they really look like women's mouths."

Contrary to several fetish porn websites, urinating on a tongue is never a pleasant experience, especially when wearing the Kahki pants.

Depending on the force of man's flow, that is whether or not the restroom visit is an "emergency," the backsplash from peeing on a protruding, porcelain tongue would send thousands of urine droplets all over the place. And nothing is more embarrassing than walking out of a men's room with dribbles soaking through your Dockers.

When it comes to the mouth-shaped urinal, men and women will have to find a common ground. May we suggest a toilet bowl inside the ladies' room that resembles Keith Richards' head? Or what about a Rolling Stones mouth-shaped bidet that shoots both hot and cold water?

Whatever the case, Crossfade draws the line at poop. No one should ever shit on the Rolling Stones, not even if it's an emergency.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

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