Radioboxer Making the World Safer One Zombie at a Time This Friday

You know them, you love them. They're Radioboxer and they were your Reader's Choice for Best Band in our Best of Miami 2009.

Their debut record Radio Drama landed on our year-end list of top local albums of 2009 too. And they've generally made steady progress, winning over the local scene for the past two years, gigging hard, and shaking every venue worth its rock salt to its foundation.

But a little known fact is the work they've done for the community, the greater good, and the world.

You see, Radioboxer have turned their talents from alt-rock ass kicking to kicking zombie ass, and with Halloween right around the corner, not a moment too soon. This Friday at Transit Lounge is Zombie Apocalypse, and these favorite sons (and daughter) of the City of Progress promise to leave no brain-eater standing.

Bassist Jota Dazza, keyboardist Gian Nicolacci and, if only momentarily, front woman and head ass kicker Vanne Dazza to a momentary break from fighting the good fight to let Crossfade ask the rockers about their efforts to save the world from
zombie rule.

New Times: What's the most dangerous thing about zombies?

Gian: their lack of personality. And their teeth, which seem to be holding on pretty good for a rotting corpse

Jota: I would say the fact that they want to eat your brains. But I have heard that zombie women are terrible drivers.

Vanne: [Walks out of the room]

What, in your professional opinion, is the best way to defeat a zombie, or a horde of zombies?

Gian: if you are in Miami, climb a tree and wait for them to get stabbed by a hobo. I've never seen them climb anything. Or, as Michael Jackson showed us, they are powerless to the magic of choreographed dancing...use it to distract them while coming up with a more long-term plan.

Jota: Now, now, Gian. If we reveal all of our killin' zombie secrets now, what incentives do we leave for people to come to transit on Oct 29?

What's your weapon of choice for zombie eradication?

Jota: I would say a well-rounded educational campaign about the dangers of zombie sex. You see, we need to eradicate the problem from the root. There are a lot of kids out there having unprotected zombie sex thinking, "That would never happen to me." But it does happen. So kids, wise up and don't get freaky with zombies. KILL them. Remember, they want one thing and one thing only: your brains.

Gian: For zombies you gotta go with a shotgun. I don't know if it's the most effective but you do look badass. And being in a rock band in Miami means that looks come before everything else.

How did Radioboxer first make the transition from kick ass rock group to zombie ass kickers? Was it a big stretch from dealing with the drunks at our local watering holes during gigs?

Gian: The turning point came (at least for me) when I saw Wild Zero. That Japanese movie/drinking game showed me that killing zombies is the next step for any band that wants to be taken seriously...there was also something about a guy falling in love with a transvestite...and a spaceship. I don't know...I was drinking Kraken and nothing was making much sense towards the end.

Jota: After being in the scene for so long, dealing with promoters and owners of many venues, it just seemed like the next logical step. Besides, Gian has some bottled up anger that needed to be released. So it was either killing Zombies, or Gian being mean to me. The choice was clear. Nobody wants to see Gian mad.

Which zombies do you find more dangerous? Your typical, garden variety, feet dragging, brain eaters, a la Night of the Living Dead, or the quick moving but less organized 28 Days sort? And which are most like the aforementioned drunks?

Gian: If the tortoise and the hare fable taught us anything is that the "feet draggers" (is that demeaning towards zombies?) are the most dangerous. They are devious and can make you feel in control, until they bite your fucking neck while taking a nap!

Jota: The difference between drunks and zombies is that zombies don't sing along Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" when it comes up in the jukebox, which, needless to say, makes them worse. Bon Jovi rocks.

Realistically speaking, what do you think are Radioboxer's hopes of defeating zombies entirely?

Gian: good a chance as us appearing on the cover of the Miami New Times.

Jota: There is no doubt in my mind we will prevail in both of those endeavors. We might lose Gian along the way. But that's ok--more room for me on the cover.

Finally, have you considered rocking zombies to death?

Jota: I wish it was that easy but they seem to only like trance music. What's that? Those are not zombies? That's the club scene? Oh well, I'm not taking any chances, they are going down.

Gian: In those shows when jota decides that tuning the bass is for can kill anything nearby.

Jota: Sometimes I wish Gian was a zombie.

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Christopher Lopez