If you ain't a total b-ball junkie, you might not know there's a 19-year-old Lithuanian phenom named Jonas Valanciunas who's been going hard in the paint, snatching down rebounds like Moses Malone on steroids, and dunking with impunity on the entire motherfucking European continent.
But on June 23, 2011, homie got picked fifth overall in the NBA Draft by the Toronto Raptors. And while the (almost) seven-footer won't even play pro ball in North America until the 2012-13 season, he's already got his own rap anthem, "Valanciunas (Big V Lithuanian Hero)," courtesy of local street ballers and swaggish shot callers, O'Grime.
These are the same awesomely scuzzy motherfuckers -- L.Rey Reyes and Nikolais Javan -- who brought y'all "Taco Bell Swag" and "Udonis Haslem (I'm So Handsome)." And they get "young, fresh, and fly like Jonas Valanciunas" on this new track, "Lithuanian Hero," celebrating the supremacy of the beasty 6'11", 240-pound center from a little town called Utena.
"We got stacks like/Jonas Valanciunas!/Gold medals like/Jonas Valanciunas!," L.Rey spits as if he just got finished with a spliff and 600ml of Riptide Rush. "European tournament/MVP!/Niggas is too short/Can't see Big V!"
"This is an anthem for all the Big V supporters out there," L.Rey tells Crossfade. "It's going big in Lithuania, It's being published across the country's biggest news websites. And it's set to be on national TV over there as well. Yop!"
And indeed, it looks like "Valanciunas" could get so big on the Lithuanian swag-slash-basketball scene that the O'Grime guys are even trying to set up tour dates all across the Northern European nation, shouting out via Facebook: "LITHUANIA OGRIME LOVES YOU BRING US TO UR CITY!!! CLUB PROMOTERS HOLLA AT US [email protected] LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!"