See also Crossfade's show report, "Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne Pussy Poppin' at Pink Friday Roman Reloaded Show in Miami" -- plus a 15-photo recap of Nicki Minaj in Miami.
In the summer of 2010, Nicki Minaj told Interview Magazine that, from the beginning, she was thinking like a role model.
"I made a conscious decision to try to tone down the sexiness," she said. "I want people -- especially young girls -- to know that in life, nothing is going to be based on sex appeal. You've got to have something else to go with that."
Thankfully, Ms. Minaj was entirely full of shit and she hasn't stopped shoving that ass in our face for a single minute.
Tonight, Nicki will be shaking her badonk in scanty costumes all over the stage at the James L. Knight Center. And so, we here at Crossfade give you our favorite moments of totally NSFW Minajery.
7. Stupid Hoe Got Banned From BET
About a year and a half after claiming to have pulled back on the sexy for the sake of little girls everywhere, Ms. Minaj got her ass slapped off television for being a visual slut. The entire network of BET said, "No thanks," to her "Stupid Hoe" video, directed by Hype Williams. The message we imagine seven year olds get from this clip ... Make sure your ass if bigger than the other girls', and you'll be fine.
6. That Bitch Be Pissin' and Poopin' on Everyone
The bulk of Minaj's wordplay focuses on how much she owns all the other female rappers, of which there are pretty much none currently making notable tracks. However, she takes a slightly childish route with her songsmithery, talking about peein' and doo-dooin' on the other girls' heads. Why all the piss and poop play, Nicki?
5. Nicki Minaj Loves Signing Boobies
After she puts down the shit and washes her hands, Minaj likes to touch her fans' hearts. But first, she's gotta touch their fleshy fun-bags. It's not enough that women degrade themselves for male rock stars, they must also submit their bodies to the ruling mistress of debauchery. Simultaneously getting an awesome memento and letting your idol cop a feel at the same time is the real magic of celebrity encounters.
4. She Gives Her Boss Free Lap Dances in Public
And when Nicki's not signing titties, she's handing out lap dances, as per her contractual agreement with YMCMB. We're pretty sure everyone has to have sex with Lil Wayne in that crew. The "F" stands for "Fuck me or fuck off." But seriously, this is something little girls need to know. The fastest way to the top is definitely at the end of your boss' ramrod.
3. A$$, A$$, A$$
Nicki Minaj totally stole the show on Big Sean's "A$$." Er, sorry, her butt stole the show. Pretty sure no one gives a fuck about anything in this clip other than her giant waddler. And that's too bad, because there is some sweet art and some tight Basquiat references behind that behemoth. Way to raise the bar, Nicki.
2. Nip Slippin' on Stage
Sure, this is what Hollywood calls a "wardrobe malfunction," and it can happen to anyone. But Nicki is a sex symbol, and when a sex symbol lets it all hang out, the Internet is there to make sure no one misses a thing. Maybe her next endorsement deal should be for pink and sticky nip covers.
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1. She Stopped Giving a Fuck About Being a Role Model and Sang About Being Hot on Leno
Whatever Nicki said in 2010 holds no water in 2012. Her newest string of singles can be boiled down to getting drunk, getting high, being stoked on being pretty and doing it, backed by a really lame electro wobble. Clearly, when you have a vagina, you make more money prancing about in a nude body-suit with feathers on your ass than you do by setting an example of refinement, culture and personal strength. Maybe next year, Lauryn Hill will make a comeback. But until then, keep Google-in' "Nicki Minaj ass."
Nicki Minaj's Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded Tour. With 2 Chainz. Tuesday, July 24. James L. Knight Center, 400 SE Second Ave., Miami. The show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets cost $43.75 to $123.75 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 305-372-4634 or visit jlkc.com.
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