A night when bloodsuckers rockin' red pasties and fishnet stockings fist-pump with flesh-eating zombies, when half-naked camo girls grind up on shredded Top Gun pilots, when sexy superheroes down candy corn jello shots alongside evil villains.
Yes, it's that one night of the year when
it's socially acceptable to dress extra-skanky anyone can be anything they want for a few hours, no questions asked. And since we live in WTF Florida, you know the freak factor is always at an all-time high on All Hallows' Eve.
Here are Miami's ten best Halloween parties. No tricks, just treats.
See also: Miami's Halloween 2014 Party Guide
Cocoon Halloween. With Sven Väth, AudioFly, Valentino Kanzyani, Martinez, and Roustam. Presented by Un_Mute and Gipsy Entertainment Group. Friday, October 31, 9 p.m., Space, 34 NE 11th St., Miami; 305-375-0001; clubspace.com. Tickets cost $60 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Rage like Frankenstein on Pixy Stix. This party promises to activate your "senses until nothing but goosebumps reach your skin," as Germany's Cocoon Recordings takes over Space with spooky visuals and eerie techno from Sven Väth, the "Cocoon Godfather" himself, and his freakishly talented club crew.
Once Bitten. With DJs Ruen, Emkay, Malone, and Oz Wild. Presented by Vice District. Friday, October 31, 11 p.m., Steam Miami, 30 NE 14th St., Miami; 786-516-3393; steammiami.com. Free before 12:30 a.m. with RSVP via steammiami.com, and $20 after. Ages 21 and up. Once you've been bitten by a vampire, there's no going back. And similarly, once you've partied with DJs Ruen, Emkay, and the rest of the sexy ghouls and goblins at Steam Miami, you won't wanna celebrate Halloween any other way.
See also: South Beach's Ten Best Dance Clubs
Festival of Samhain. With Holly Hunt, Dim Past, Rat and Emile, Death Talisman VII, Shark Valley Sisters, For the Virgin Mary, and DJ sets by Alex Caso and Peligro. Friday, October 31, 9 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. Free. Ages 18 and up. Churchill's is a haven for freaks and geeks year 'round. But on Halloween, the Little Haiti hideout will transform into a creepy den filled with hungry walkers and murderous punks looking for some noise and a vicious circle pit.
Midnight Magic. With Pyschemagik. Friday, October 31, 10 p.m., Bardot, 3456 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-576-7750; bardotmiami.com. Tickets cost $15 to $20 plus fees via showclix.com. Ages 21 and up. As soon as the clock strikes 12, the wild party animals at Bardot are gonna transform into werewolves. The only ones who will remain human are Midnight Magic and Pyschemagik. Oh yeah, the NYC quintet and UK DJ duo plan to cast a spell on you. Consider yourself warned.
Playboy Halloween Masquerade. With Playboy Bunnies and DJ Mister Gray. Friday, October 31, 10 p.m. Hyde Beach at the SLS Hotel, 1701 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-1701; hydebeach.com. Tickets cost $30 to $40 plus fees via hydebeach.com. Ages 21 and up. Lots of people have fantasized about posing for Playboy (or being Hugh Hefner) at one point or another. And though there will only ever be one Hef, ladies and gentlemen can watch their dreams come to life as Hugh's models host Hyde's Halloween Masquerade ball. Just don't forget to bring your bunny ears and velvet robe.
Reel Horror Ball VI: The Purge. With Robbie Rivera and others. Friday, October 31, 11 p.m. Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-377-2277; grandcentralmiami.com. Tickets cost $60 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Break out your GOD mask and experience the horror of The Purge movies as Robbie Rivera and the Reel Horror Ball bunch throw down with thrill seekers and total creepers at downtown Miami's Grand Central. Sure, you might be scared shitless as homicidal maniacs chase after you, but "just remember all the good the purge does."
See also: Downtown Miami's Five Best Dance Clubs
Cedric Gervais' Sh!t Show Stikes Back. With Dave Sol. Friday, October 31, 11 p.m., Story, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-538-2424; storymiami.com. Tickets cost $30 to $40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. You know it's gonna be a total Sh!t Show when EDM producer Cedric Gervais discovers he's really Luke Skywalker. Yes, that's the Grammy-winning remixer's costume of choice this Halloween. And it seems will be joined in the DJ booth by a sexed-up Princess Leia and a raver Chewbacca. But here's the weird part -- Darth Vader (his father?) has apparently become a woman who looks amazing in a black bikini.
Haunted Mansion. Friday, October 31, 11 p.m., Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Tickets cost $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. All Hallows' Eve is full of surprises, especially at the Haunted Mansion. Last year, vikings, she-devils, and pleather-clad dancers with welding torches took over South Beach's Mansion Nightclub. Oh, it was a total freak show. But with this year's $2,500 costume contest, we can only imagine the madness that's about to go down at SoBe's spookiest party spot.
Wayans' Freaky Halloween. Hosted by Shawn and Marlon Wayans. Friday, October 31, 11 p.m. Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-2667; cameomiami.com. Tickets cost $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Ever seen Marlon Wayans' 2013 flick A Haunted House? Well, don't be surprised if you walk into Cameo on Halloween and discover the bottle-service tables have all disappeared. That's because Marlon and his bro Shawn will be in the club, and they're being followed by ghosts who hate feng shui. But even if you're a little creeped out by the empty room, don't try to be a hard ass like that "hummie" Ray Ray and demand to know, "What happened to yo' furniture, cuz?" Let's just say that didn't end well for him.
Strangers & Friends Halloween. With Erick Morillo and Patrick M. Saturday, November 1, 10 p.m., Space, 34 NE 11th St., Miami; 305-375-0001; clubspace.com. Tickets cost $30 to $45 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. The best part about October 31 falling on a Friday is that the party (and corpse bride costumes) keep rollin' all weekend long. So Let the Freak Out and go wild with Erick Morillo at the Halloween edition of Space's Strangers & Friends bash. Stay spooky, party people.
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