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Think it’s kinda redonkulous that the Dirty South’s king of cartoon rap, Ludacris, has been tapped to host the afterparty for a classy Saturday night with the Florida Marlins, Arizona Diamondbacks, and America’s pastime? Well, you’re wrong, ’cause Mr. Chris Bridges and baseball go together like Conjure Cognac and Crackerjack or sizzurp and steroids. It’s a perfect match.
Honestly, screw “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and “America the Beautiful” — we just wanna hear “Move Bitch,” “Pimpin’ All Over the World,” and “Sex Room.” There’s no need for dorky crap like the chicken dance when you can hump the bleacher seats, freak the pitching machine, and grind up on a sweaty hotdog cart.
So go start a 30,000-person chant taunting Diamondbacks outfielder Justin Upton and his bubble butt: “Just seen a big ol’ ass! It’s Saturday! Sticky, icky, icky, icky! Shake it, Justin! Shake what your mama gave ya!”
Make Luda proud.
