Five Ways to Impress Drake, Win Opening Slot on Club Paradise Tour

See Crossfade's review of Drake's Club Paradise tour in Miami.

Drake is a really sweet guy.

Yesterday, the YMCMB member announced he's teaming up with OurStage and the Real Hip Hop Network to give one lucky up-and-comer the chance to open for 20 dates on Drake's ongoing Club Paradise Tour.

Rappers must submit their best track to OurStage by Thursday, May 11. Fans will vote, deciding the winner, who will also star in a Real Hip Hop Network documentary.

All that definitely sounds good. But what does it take to open for Drake?

Drake Likes Braggarts

Much like how it takes making money and blowing it to be a member of the YMCMB Rich Gang, Drake needs his openers to be as boastful as he is. Even if you don't really have the swaggy, money-filled resume of the YMCMB bosses, you have to talk the talk. After all, it takes acting like you've got money to make money.

Drake Likes to Make It Sexy

So you're braggy ... But can you pull bitches? Top-notch hoes? You've got to be a shot-caller to get that sexy and still keep it gangsta. And hoes are just another reason to make sure you're getting paid, because the girls you get when you're this high up in the game come with a price tag.

Drake Likes to Keep It Hood

Sometimes, Drake has a tough time proving that's he a hard motherfucker. We don't know why ... What's not hood about being a Canadian child star? Anyway, to pump up his street-life image, Drake likes to get his crowd pumped up with some real trap shit. If you can kill it on the drums and speak to the streets, you're in.

Drake Likes Pretty Boy Swag

All the bitches love Drake. So the guys in his crew have to be heart-breakers too. He likes his boys pretty, but not quite as pretty as himself. 'Cause it's not like he's going to let you steal any of his girls. But someone needs to pick up the leftovers hanging around.

Drake Likes It Completely Ridiculous

What's better than being braggy, swaggy, hood, and sexy? Being a completely over-the-top character, obviously. Nothing fits in more with Drake and the YMCMB crew than absurdity. If you can combine sick drums, deep bass, strippers, stacks, and drugs into your whole demeanor, then take the whole combination to 11, you're on the tour!

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Kat Bein is a freelance writer and has been described as this publication’s "senior millennial correspondent." She has an impressive, if unhealthy, knowledge of all things pop culture.