Five Questions with Pool Party's Creep Guirdo

Creep Guirdo is one of those musical aberrations that occurs from time to time.

Unintentionally funny due to being a German national of Hialeah descent, he's largely been the figurehead for local disco rock 'n' rollers Pool Party.

He recently sat down with us in preparation for April Pool's Day to sort out some from their murky past.

Crossfade: First of all, who are you? where do you come from? And where were you when the Berlin wall came crashing down? And if you're okay to say, what was your involvement with Communism's end within the German state?

Creep Guirdo: Me? I am Creep Guirdo. I was born in the German mining town of Johanngeorgenstadt. My parents are from Hialeah. When the Berlin Wall came crashing down I was at home watching Alles nichts oder ?!, a television showcase that is like Sabado Gigante crossed with Double Dare. The show was interrupted by a news broadcast. I don't know much about Communism. But like our bass player, Dick Dumb says, "We support communities. They're good for the community."

It is our understanding that you linked up with certain Icelanders while living in South Florida. So how exactly did you find these pseudo-Vikings?

All of us hail from different backgrounds. Our drummer Inner "Toobs" Malloy is from the Cutler Ridge Beach prefecture in Miami. Our bassist Dick Dumb is from Cleveland, Ohio. And our lead guitarist Hand Gloveless was found in a shed on the Nebraska-Kansas border. We met in Miami and started playing tunes. Jón Axel Ólafsson, host of Iceland's Breakfast Radio, made us a deal we couldn't refuse.

He was really into our caveman-disco-beach image and the positive nature of our music. We went with him in his van where he had like... so many different porno magazines, ones with tits, ones with butts, ones with guys with girls and the girls have tits. By the time we finished reading all the magazines, we were in Iceland.

Please explain the nuances between South Florida and what you might find in a German disco.

Forgive me for my absent memories, I barely remember my time in the German discos. I was only ten. But from what I recall, German discos have a lot more people with yarn in their hair, which is very pro. You know someone is a professional partier when he and she puts thick string into their hair, it is a big league move. Here, in Miami, the discos are good. But sometimes American DJs have really dumb names: Jellybean Benitez, Twizzlers Rolandez, or Mr. Hot Pocket.

What words come to mind after the following: sliminess, New Wave, porn (to watch), Leipzig, the sturm und drang movement, croquetas, and Horse Aid?

I can effectively use one word to sum up all of those things: "potato sack race championship." All of these things you describe from the slime to the new music and porno and the other things and the food, are challenging parts of life. Much like a potato sack race, we must hop along together in a burlap bag until we cross the finish line of life, which is death.

In closing, South Floridians get wild like hyenas when their local governance goes belly-up, what can Pool Party bring to the table? How is the power of Pool Party a stabilizing force for the community? And moreover, how can we make our shores more appealing for European immigrants of a rock 'n' roll persuasion?

Your local government have much to learn. We will teach everyone that they must go to boating place the day of the election, to take a stand. Also, if you are not registered to boat, that is OK. Just hide in the cabin, wait for the police to go away, and then you keep boating. Boat in secret, boat in private, boat in public... It doesn't matter where. It only matters that you get up and boat.

Our power stabilizes in the very way that a shock absorber works on a car: We are at the front line, we will take the raw facts, water them down, and feed them back to the people in a way they can digest it -- through music songs.

And finally, we are a humble group, we don't like to brag or anything. But once Europeans know that there is a band as good as us over here, the entire continent of Eurasia and maybe even Antarcticus will uproot their lives just to maybe see us play once live and in person in America.

Pool Party with the Crumbs. Friday, April 1. Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. The show starts at 9 p.m. Call 305-757-1807 or visit churchillspub.com.

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