Fake Blood Massacres Grand Central Miami, August 11

See the full 36-photo slideshow of Fake Blood at Grand Central.

Fake Blood

With Damaged Goods and Mike Deuce

Grand Central, Miami

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Better Than: Parties with the Manson family.

Not everything that's hard is dubstep. And just because it's dark, doesn't mean it can't be funky.

England's Fake Blood (AKA Theo Keating), veteran icon of the EDM scene, provided a shit-ton of proof of these facts with his set at Grand Central.

Over the course of an hour and a half, he took the crowd on a speed-walk through the valley of the shadow of bass and filter house.

It was bloody. But it was good.

Before the massacre, Mike Deuce controlled the ones and twos. The heads filed into the club and made their way to the bar and then the dance floor. He warmed them up with some classic electro beats and bangers, sounds from the time when Fake Blood first made his mark on the scene.

As Deuce increased the intensity, more and more partiers started to let loose. Everyone was getting primed and ready for the main event. And by 1:40 a.m., the time had come.

The slim, bare-headed man known by the name Fake Blood got into position and ripped right into some heavy, funky drops. He tossed off tracks filled with robot voices and heavy filter melodies. Basic and fuzzy and loud.

Behind him, Grand Central's giant screen flashed his name large and dripping in red goo. The scene was slightly menacing, but everyone had a smile on their face. People got live, drink after drink, dancing on the couches and throwing their hands in the air, even without being prompted by the DJ.

Fake Blood isn't one of those ultimate-showmen, hands-up-in-the-air, Jesus-Christ-pose type of megastars. He never grabbed the mike or left the booth. He never stage-dived. He never threw any food stuffs into the crowd. He doesn't need gimmicks because his tracks are hot and his skills are mad, and he's too busy mixing his ass off to peacock around the stage.

And his set wasn't heavy with classic bangers or obvious selections. He didn't play into hip genres like dubstep, moombahton, or trap. He kept his mix seamless, underground, and true to his own style.

Of course, he had to give them what they wanted. And at five minutes to 3 a.m., the familiar chords of "I Think I Like It," his big 2010 hit began to sneak into the mix. It was like a slicing shaft of disco light cutting through an otherwise dark night. And everybody took the opportunity to twerk out.

Not long after, Mr. Blood brought the night to its finish with his classic original "Mars," which has become supercute in the wake of NASA's recent Curiosity rover landing. The crowd rushed to the floor and chanted along with the robotic vocal. All in all, everything was pretty fly.

But before handing the stage over to Damaged Goods, he super slow-mo'd "Mars" into sheer noise. There was brief silence as the crowd roared and the man made his exit.

Damaged Goods kept the party going into the early hours with a much more eclectic set of big-time bangers, trap favorites, funky house vibes, and some of the gnarliest dubstep in the MIA. The crowd was still hyphy from the headliner and stayed to dance till they could no longer stand.

It was bloody. But it was good. And thankfully, everyone survived.

Critic's Notebook

Interesting Fact: Fake Blood, besides being a fantastic DJ, is a very talented graffiti artist.

The Crowd: Weird, beautiful people who've been getting down to this funky house shit since before 2010.

Best Cameo: Sam Doucette bumrushing the stage and rockin' out in front of the DJ booth, like, three mixes into Fake Blood's set. Security seemed to appreciate it.

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