What are the odds of electro-mechanical machines (manufactured in France) descending upon Ultra Music Festival 2013 to enslave the EDM generation?
We'd say the chances of a sudden and unsuspected robot invasion at UMF probably hover around 13 percent.
Oh ... You mean the likelihood of notoriously secretive and borderline reclusive French dance music duo Daft Punk playing the Ultra main stage at some point in the next 31 hours?
Probably nil. But there have been at least five signs the robots might be coming to UMF!
The earliest indication that Daft Punk could possibly (but probably not) be planning a shocking Ultra cameo was a billboard that popped up in an empty lot adjacent to the UMF grounds. Sure, this stunt is likely part of the Punk pair's marketing campaign for the May release of new album, Random Access Memories. 'Cause, like, that's the album art.
But few weeks earlier, the fest's cofounder Russell Faibisch had promised Crossfade something "bigger than Madonna" for 2013. So we got (foolishly) giddy.
Yesterday, though, there was another sign ... The streets surrounding Ultra Music Festival were littered with cardboard robot masks! And yeah, we tried not to get too amped up. But then we walked a another couple of blocks ...
Just steps away from the UMF grounds, we stood hypnotized by a silent, looping animated Daft Punk ad, projected onto a filthy white wall in a mostly empty parking lot. And yeah, we'd heard what had happened in Austin. (Lots of SXSW chumps got suckered in by rumors of secret shows.) But is it so bad if we wanna remain pure of heart? And believe a lil' in the impossible?
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For the last couple of weeks, it seems as though Daft Punk tracks have been popping up in the weirdest places, like public restrooms, and not-so-weird places, like Ultra Music Festival. So when Afrojack started messing 'round with robot sounds in the middle of last night's UMF set, we were extremely startled to hear screams ...
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The Robots Are Coming! The Robots Are Coming! The Robots Are Coming!
But then we saw these low-rent jerks stumbling through the crowd on stilts. And that's when reality kicked us in the balls.
"Unghhh ... Dude, we been had by those damn robots. Again."