Open on December 24 and 25
Will Call 700 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-577-5900; willcallmiami.com. Even Santa Claus might be doing egg nog shots and chowing down cookies on Christmas Eve at this almost-never-closed downtown drinking spot. Oh, and don't forget to show up for the Miami Heat's Christmas Day game against LeBron James and his Cleveland Steamers.
Churchill's Pub 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. Punks party all day, all week, all year. And they'll be rippin' and sippin' with Vinyl Solutions' Noche Buena Party on December 24 and Destroyio Records' 8th Annual Xmas Show on December 25.
Open on December 24
LIV 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Get your fill of MatzoBall (not the soup, but the swingin' Jewish singles party) at the Fontainebleau's fanciest nightclub.
Open on December 25
The Garret at Grand Central 697 N. Miami Ave., Seventh St. side entrance, Miami; 305-377-2277; grandcentralmiami.com. Drop it low in Grand Central's upstairs party loft for new dancehall, reggae, soca, and hip-hop weekly Way Up!
Gramps 176 NW 24th St., Miami; 786-752-6693; grampsbar.com. Hard work is the secret to reaching a ripe old age in good health. And Gramps refuses to take more than one fuckin' day off. So if he's closed on December 24? Then the old man's openin' the next day.
Story Nightclub 136 Collins Ave. Miami Beach; 305-538-2424; storymiami.com. Once where LeBron, D-Wade, Bosh, and crew celebrated championships... Story is now hosting the afterparty for our Miami Heat bitch-slappin' 'Bron-'Bron and the Cavs on Christmas day.
Do Not Sit on the Furniture 423 16th St., Miami Beach; 510-550-5067; facebook.com/DoNotSit. "Do Not Sit On The Furniture invites you to our official holiday party with a special invitation out to all the folks working in the nightlife industry!" Get merry with Surreal Flight and Gran Moxy.
SET Nightclub 320 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; 305-531-2800; setmiami.com. Every Thursday at SET is DTF. That's the name of the party... Down to Fuck. And this holy night's secret creeper... Dirty Santa.
Trade 1439 Washington Ave. Miami Beach; trademia.com. A message from electronic dance music party planners Link Miami Rebels: "After spending Christmas with your family, we would like you to spend time with ours." Celebrate with Social Skills Christmas Special and DJs Danyelino, Hardline, Ms. Mada, and Thunderpony.
See also: Six Reasons to Never Have Sex With a DJ