Audio By Carbonatix
While nobody in the United States has enough testicular fortitude to tell Chris Brown, “Hey, fuck you for beating up Rihanna back in 2009!,” the United Kingdom is a little less afraid of confrontation.
Apparently, activists swarmed English music retailer HMV and labeled every single copy of Brown’s latest album, Fortune, with stickers reading, “Warning, Do Not Buy This Album! This Man Beats Women.”
Of course, the world is a vampire, and stickers declaring Breezy to be a perpetrator of domestic violence seemed to have, uh, helped the singer move units.
Despite the tactic’s failure to damage sales of the record, this vigilant pop culture activism got us thinking about some other new releases that could definitely benefit from a warning label or two.
Artist: R. Kelly
Album: Write Me Back
Release: June 26
Warning: “Write him back! Or else he gonna pee on you!”
Artist: Deadmau5
Album: >album title goes here<>>
Release: September 25
Warning: “These MP3s may spontaneously burst into electro whining.”
Artist: No Doubt
Album: Push and Shove
Release: September 25
Warning: “Manufacturer not responsible for any contact with third-wave ska that may result from listening to this album.”
Artist: Papa Roach
Album: The Connection
Release: October 2
Warning: “Band has yet to make The Connection that they have been completely irrellevant for over a decade.”
Artist: Brandy
Album: Two Eleven
Release: October 16
Warning: “Not intended for use as a substitute for Moesha, The Parkers, or any other cancelled UPN programming.”
Artist: Further Seems Forever
Album: Penny Black
Release: October 23
Warning: “Do no consume if allergic to emo. May include ingredients used in Dashboard Confessional.”
Artist: Neil Young & Crazy Horse
Album: Psychedelic Pill
Release: October 30
Warning: “Neither this album nor its creators have a single fuck to give.”
Artist: Aerosmith
Album: Music From Another Dimension
Release: November 6
Warning: “Handle with care. Music may rip open time-space contiuum and result in assorted mutations such as accelerated aging or the cloven hooves of foundlings.”
Artist: 50 Cent
Album: Street King Immortal
Release Date: November 13
Warning: “Explosive diarrhea: Resistance is futile.”
Artist: The Rolling Stones
Album: GRRR!
Release: November 13
Warning: “Anyone with an erection lasting more than four hours needs medical assistance immediately, because of the risk of tissue damage which could cause permanent loss of potency.”
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