^
Keep New Times Free
4

Black Kvlt Fest: "We Got the Biggest Cuban and Colombian Black Metal Bands in the World"

When it rains in Hell, the ground cracks open and Satan's blood flows up from Hades to soak the Earth.

Maggots in the dirt gorge themselves on the devil's plasma until their tiny, ugly bodies burst and microscopic eggs spray everywhere.

Six days later, a new generation of long-haired black metal fans are born. As these creatures grow in fury, size, and power, they flock to speakerboxes blasting the loud, vicious music that feeds their undead souls. And this weekend, the satanic masses shall converge upon Little Haiti for a ritual so dark that it can only be called Black Kvlt Metal Fest.

See also: Miami's Ten Best Metal Bands of All Time

Evil genius Ira Ochacher is the mastermind behind this musical blasphemy. He says, "There's so many Cubans and Colombians in Miami that we got the biggest Cuban and Colombian black metal bands in the world." Of course, he's talking about Ancestor and Thy Antichrist, whose legions of devoted followers are maelstrom personified.

The fest also features some of the biggest names in pure, unadulterated, underground U.S. black metal. How underground? So subterranean that they have corpse remains clinging to their boots. Bands with names like Holocaust, Hellfrost, and Masticator will make you head-bang till brain juice leaks out both of your ears.

And if that's not evil enough, there will be a special fire performance for the opening ceremony on the Antichrist Stage while Death Talisman II plays by the bar. It's going to be a blood soaked whiskey kind of weekend.

See also: Florida's Top Ten Black Metal Bands

Twenty bands comprise the Black Kvlt Metal Fest lineup, and ten play each night. These warriors hail from California, Texas, Gainesville, Jacksonville, and the home of all that's ugly in the soul of America, otherwise known as Tampa.

Together, all shall celebrate the descent of darkness with every psychotic note, yell, roar, and growl.

A special tip from Ochacher: "Make sure to check out Vesterian. They play super violent hateful black metal."

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Sound like fun? Well, don't be scared; be the one who scares, and have an awesome time at the greatest metal fest to hit Miami since evil was invented.

Crossfade's Top Blogs

-Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty Guitarist

-25 Creepiest Heavy Metal Album Covers

-Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty Drummer

Black Kvlt Metal Fest. With Vesterian, Thy Antichrist, Holocaust, Ancestor, and others. Friday and Saturday, October 17 and 18. Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. The shows start at 9 p.m. and two-day tickets cost $15 plus fees via tmusproduction.bigcartel.com. Ages 18 and up. Call 305-757-1807 or visit churchillspub.com.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.