Eat Your F**king Brussels Sprouts: A Poem For Father’s Day (Read by Samuel Jackson)

The much awaited release of Adam Mansbach’s R-rated lullaby Go The F**k To Sleep, is set for sometime this week (in plenty of time for Sunday’s Father’s Day).

Because Mansbach is both a great author and dad, Esquire Magazine asked him to write a very special poem on another joy of Fatherhood — getting your darling child to eat their vegetables.

We now present Eat Your F**king Brussels Sprouts by Adam Mansbach:

Unlike oh-so-many
Of your playmates’ dipshit dads
I give a fuck about nutrition
Know my way around the kitchen
And refuse to let a toddler
Make her own mealtime decisions

This feast I’m serving now is one
That we all cooked together
(Which was so you’d fucking eat it;
I thought that was kind of clever)
But your palate, being three and all
Shifts like the goddamn weather

And so to avoid a tussle ’bout
These motherfucking Brussels sprouts
(Which you had last week, and liked
And asked for specially tonight)
I’m forced to caper and cajole
While you, dear child, fillet my soul

Listen to Samuel L. Jackson’s amazing reading of Go The F**k To Sleep (Warning: contains the F-word if you’re at work) after the jump.

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