Chris Bosh Bogged Down by Junk Food, Still Makes Game 3 Winner

Somebody asked Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh in Dallas if he was getting any home cooked meals, and this was his answer, “I was like, ‘Absolutely not.’ I want to eat all garbage, junk food and room service just to get that road feel.”

The Chicago Tribune, surely trying to find out any trash on our players after the Bulls were annihilated by the Heat, wrote this morning about Bosh’s plan. They are pathetic individuals, though this quote might help to explain Mr. Bosh’s weird play.

Perhaps this is why our boy was playing like a sack of fried potatoes throughout most of the game last night. Okay that sumbitch Kidd whacked him in the eye, but is that a reason to miss a dunk? Or a reason to be off course on his signature 14 footer?

Bosh, as haters are saying, isn’t overhyped, nor does he suck. Sometimes, perhaps, he is streaky and can’t maintain any consistency in his play. But the real reason for Chrissy’s crappy play through most of the game, is that the man has been gobbling up all the fast food and junk food in Dallas to remind himself that he is not at home – his real home, not his old home — Dallas where he attended high school.

He felt he needed to be constantly reminded that the arena will not be white hot and filled with Heat fans, but instead filled with people who want to see our big three fail. Pathetic Texans who probably survive on junk food themselves.

And that proves that our boy Bosh is so dedicated to the game, the team, and the city of Miami. But, for game four, Boshster, please think up another strategy to remind yourself that you are not in Miami.

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