See the full archive of Pepe Billete’s columns here.A couple of weeks ago I wrote an open letter to Chad “OchoCinco” Johnson, welcoming him back to Miami and updating him on some things that have changed in the 305 since his departure to Langston, Oklahoma in 1997. I was excited…
The only thing consistent about pop-up restaurants in Miami is that they are the latest form of branding. They can be used to build a client base that will sustain a permanent space while others are done simply because you can’t feed weird people weird food in a normal space…
See also “DJ Khaled’s ‘I’m On One’: Five Reasons Why It Was 2011’s Most Miami-Tastic Music Video.” DJ Khaled keeps making hits and filling them out with his bestest friends. In fact, he’s turning ’em out so fast that we just got a two-for-one special. Maybe Khaled saved some cash…
Who “Luv Dem Strippers”? Well, we here at Crossfade do. Ditto 2 Chainz and Nicki MInaj, whose new music video features enough bulbous, earthquakin’ ass to force a 12-year-old boy into puberty. “I Luv Dem Strippers” is a modern-day love song to the working girls of America. Plus, it features…
See also “Kim Kardashian ‘Honored’ to be Kanye’s ‘Perfect Bitch,’ Causes Twitter Uproar.” Kanye West has reportedly given girlfriend Kim Kardashian a new pet name … The “perfect bitch.” According to the New York Daily News, the 35-year-old rapper dropped some previously unreleased tracks at a Manhattan nightclub over the…
See the full archive of Pepe Billete’s columns here.Last week I took a little break from the column to celebrate my birthday. The party was amazing and even managed to get the attention of NBC!While it did take me a couple of days to recover, I had a plan to…
These days, musicians are nothing without high-profile, million-dollar endorsements. You just aren’t a winner unless you’re shilling soda, makeup, electronics, and your own personal brand of booze. Luckily, today’s commercial powerhouses are more entrepreneurial than ever. So they will literally sell anything for the chance to make some extra cash…
See also “Madonna’s Midlife Crisis on Video: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown.” J. Lo is freaking out. She’s 43 years old, she just dumped her hubby, and she’s existing in the post-Will.i.am./Lil Jon electro-pop explosion. We’ve all seen what this has done to Madonna. And now the Latin songstress is “Goin’…
Of course I’m not saying what a candidate eats should be the sole factor considered by voters when determining the next president of the United States. That would be crazy. Other things are important too — like what he drinks, and economic policy and stuff.But character surely plays a role…
See the full archive of Pepe Billete’s columns here.Last weekend me and the guys at DeadFix.com were cojiendo tremenda perra nota at PeachFuzz, and we started talking about all the mistakes people make when they go out partying in Miami. The conversation was so interesting, that I decided to make…
As Short Order reported recently, California’s ban on foie gras finally went into effect earlier this month.Unfortunately, due to the lax wording of the ban, restaurants have found it possible to circumvent the law and serve the item to customers. The California law specifies that restaurants cannot sell food derived…
See Pepe Billete: “I’m Not a Latino, I’m Not a Hispanic, I’m a Cuban American!”Last week I managed to upset a pretty big segment of Miami’s non-Cuban Spanish speaking population when I asserted that referring to all Spanish-speaking people as “Hispanic” or “Latino” is xenophobic and just plain wrong. You…
Lady Gaga is a monster. Having successfully dominated the social spheres of Facebook and Twitter, Mother Monster has launched an egocentric networking haven all her own. A combination of Pinterest, Reddit, and ’90s AOL chat rooms, LittleMonsters.com allows Gaga fans to share their shitty memes, Gaga news from across the…
We’ve got a theory that can no longer be ignored. Every time we see a sweet R&B starlet hook up with a rough and rowdy rapper for a Top 40 banger, we can’t help imagining all the hot and sweaty sex they must’ve had while recording. We used to think…
Some of us love food and then some of us love food. Gavin Bradford of Halton Ontario has lost his teaching license after a four-year investigation into his inappropriate behavior towards at least 21 elementary school students.Bradford, an apparent food fetishist, would conduct sexually-charged conversations with the children in person…
I don’t know about you, pero every time I hear someone refer to me as “Hispanic” or “Latino,” me dan ganas de meterle una pata por culo a alguin. My response is always the same (unless its la mona): I’m a Cuban American, you comemierda!Oye, the only thing that makes…
Fourth of July gatherings are like any other gatherings: Some are a lot better than others. Thing is, by the time you discover the picnic you’ve attended is a dud, it’s too late.Sometimes, however, you might overhear a key phrase uttered by the host that will signal looming trouble early…
Photos: Rock ‘n’ Roll Beer-B-Que 2012 at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & CasinoThe Rock ‘N’ Roll Beer-B-Que Wrap-Up (Clean Plate Charlie) Sometimes you’ve gotta take one for the team. That was the case when I was asked to be a judge at the Rock N’ Roll Beer-B-Que at the Seminole…
In a shining example of government idiocy, the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) is actually encouraging people to apply for food stamps.The government agency has an active program to lure more Americans into applying for food stamps, specifically targeting senior citizens. This program costs the USDA $2.5 to $3 million…
Something just ain’t kosher.As reported by Short Order earlier this week, ConAgra Foods, Inc., the company that produces those delicious Hebrew National hot dogs, is being sued. Well, not only sued, but sued in a class action lawsuit. The law firm of Blackwell Burke filed the suit in Minneapolis on behalf of…
See also “Nickelback Petition Backfires, Band to Play BankAtlantic Center.” The Internet really hates Nickelback. As far as avid tech geeks and music snobs are concerned, they’re the worst band ever. And in line with its total, unabashed disgust for the Canadian bad boys of flavorless ballads, the Internet has…
In February I wrote a scathing review of the Sonic Beach in Homestead. I was contacted by one of the proprietors and told the following:One, Sonic took feedback very seriously.Two, the manager mentioned in my review had been demoted and was undergoing further training, specifically for customer service.And three, the…
