Mary J. Blige has been through a lot. She’s a powerhouse of feminine strength and wisdom; a shining beacon of exemplary light for us girls everywhere. She killed it at Jazz in the Gardens, but apparently she took time out to make some deals with another Miami resident, Burger King…
It was exactly ten years ago yesterday that cunnilingus got its very own theme song. On April 2, 2002, Tampa stripper-turned-rapper Khia released her would-be hit, “My Neck, My Back (Lick It),” a three minute and 42-second long tribute to the orally-induced female orgasm. Today however, it’s not Khia’s neck,…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for. This week, Luke says African-Americans need to march to the polls on Election Day.For more than two weeks, tens of thousands of African-Americans…
The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We’re sure…
A prominent African-American builder just got a sweet bailout from Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez and the county commission. On March 20, commissioners quietly approved Gimenez’s request to pay off $400,000 that Otis Pitts Jr. owes in property taxes on a complex he owns on NW 62nd Street at Seventh Avenue.The…
Miami New Times staff writer Gus Garcia-Roberts has been named a finalist in the Investigative Reporters & Editors contest for 2012. His series on Florida’s $150 million McKay scholarship program, which hands out money with virtually no supervision, was cited by judges in the small newspaper/online category.The winner in the…
[jump] Despite the ongoing Skrillex-pocalypse consuming the little bit of pop music that isn’t already LMFAO-ed, the human race can still get behind a bird with some pipes. Last year, Adele became the first artist to go double-platinum on iTunes. And this year she not only swept the Grammys but now,…
Last Wednesday I had a dining experience that can only be described as orgasmic. Before you think I suffer from objectophilia or start calling me a foodshagger, let me explain that the event was intended to enhance and titillate the senses. I’m willing to bet good money that I am…
Five Florida chefs are preparing for a battle of swine this Sunday at Cochon 555.The touring pork competition, which debuts in Miami this Sunday, April 1, gathers five of our top chefs, and gives them each a heritage breed pig and an open forum to create a nose-to-tail porcine experience…
It’s been a hard week. The kids were a mess, the wife’s been nagging, the husband’s been lazy – it’s finally Friday and you need another reason to drink.Short Order and Coconut Grove have your back (but, not your liver).Tonight we’ll be giving Coconut Grove its plaque for winning our…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Federal Trayvon Martin probe is just a coverup
Reader mail: Occupy Miami has gone to hell
A pharmacist who ran a pill mill from the lobby of the Miami-Dade County Government Center is pleading guilty for his role in a $55 million medicare scam involving prescription pain killers. Aiman Aryan will give up his pharmacist license and will be sentenced to at least 10 years in prison…
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke is tired of marching and rallying for justice.Last week, thousands of people, led by Rev. Al Sharpton, held…
Read Crossfade’s post about Madonna’s Ultra Music Festival 2012 and watch the full six-minute and 52-second clip of Madonna’s Ultra appearance. UPDATE See Madonna’s response to the Mau5. It’s a cartoon of her wearing Mau5keteer ears. Uh-oh, Deadmau5 is pissed off again. The last time he unleashed his fury on…
When New Line Cinema decides to make a sequel to the movie Horrible Bosses, studio executives should use Miami-Dade Fire Rescue Chief Robert Maler for inspiration. The 33-year county veteran, who oversees more than two dozen lifeguards protecting beachgoers at Crandon and Haulover parks, has been the subject of four…
A few weeks ago we announced that Coconut Grove, the little village known for mango trees, boaters, and outdoor bistros, had won our Snackdown, which pitted Miami’s neighborhoods against each other for your votes and foodie love. Though Coconut Grove won by a mere seven votes (and Coral Gables is…
The second annual Taste of Brickell festival is this weekend. The event — which takes place this Saturday and Sunday, March 24 and 25, from noon to 10 p.m. — turns 1201 Brickell Bay Dr. into a large party area featuring food, drinks, and a kiddie zone complete with petting…
Ultra Music Festival seems like it’s all fun, games, and “2-hot-4-u” LARPers in furry boots. But in actuality, this three-day electronic music extravaganza is a cross between the Pleasuredome and the Thunderdome. And there’s no better illustration of Ultra at its most debauched and dangerous than the Skrillex mosh pit…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke scoffs at the Justice Department’s investigation into the death of Trayvon Martin.Ever since I heard the 911…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
