Opinion & Commentary

DJ Laz: Booty Music Pioneer

Poor Ozzie Guillen. Baseball season just got started and already the Miami Marlins skipper has inserted his foot in his mouth.The controversial Venezuelan born manager had the audacity to praise Cuban dictator Fidel Castro in an upcoming issue of Time magazine and all hell has broken loose in Miami’s hardline…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke opines on DJ Laz’s departure from Power 96 and the death of FM radio.When my homeboy, Lazaro…

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Reader mail: Hungry, broke Miamians aren’t into the Marlins and the new stadium

Trayvon Martin’s Legacy: Maybe Blacks Will Start Voting

Lamarckism, the idea that a person can pass on traits acquired in life to their offspring, has been around since the early 1900s. In 2012, however, it’s triggered a revival in the worst way. Some asshole thinks it might be a good idea to form the Beatles – Next Generation,…

Mary J. Blige has been through a lot. She’s a powerhouse of feminine strength and wisdom; a shining beacon of exemplary light for us girls everywhere. She killed it at Jazz in the Gardens, but apparently she took time out to make some deals with another Miami resident, Burger King…

It was exactly ten years ago yesterday that cunnilingus got its very own theme song. On April 2, 2002, Tampa stripper-turned-rapper Khia released her would-be hit, “My Neck, My Back (Lick It),” a three minute and 42-second long tribute to the orally-induced female orgasm. Today however, it’s not Khia’s neck,…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for. This week, Luke says African-Americans need to march to the polls on Election Day.For more than two weeks, tens of thousands of African-Americans…

The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We’re sure…

A prominent African-American builder just got a sweet bailout from Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez and the county commission. On March 20, commissioners quietly approved Gimenez’s request to pay off $400,000 that Otis Pitts Jr. owes in property taxes on a complex he owns on NW 62nd Street at Seventh Avenue.The…

Miami New Times staff writer Gus Garcia-Roberts has been named a finalist in the Investigative Reporters & Editors contest for 2012. His series on Florida’s $150 million McKay scholarship program, which hands out money with virtually no supervision, was cited by judges in the small newspaper/online category.The winner in the…

Five Florida chefs are preparing for a battle of swine this Sunday at Cochon 555.The touring pork competition, which debuts in Miami this Sunday, April 1, gathers five of our top chefs, and gives them each a heritage breed pig and an open forum to create a nose-to-tail porcine experience…

It’s been a hard week. The kids were a mess, the wife’s been nagging, the husband’s been lazy – it’s finally Friday and you need another reason to drink.Short Order and Coconut Grove have your back (but, not your liver).Tonight we’ll be giving Coconut Grove its plaque for winning our…