Ben Carson on being black, Marco Rubio vs. Donald Trump as a video game, and Chris Christie as an outer space creature. It’s been one helluva week. On this Super Tuesday, when the Donald is preparing to wrap it all up and move to the White House, Pepe Billete spouts…
With the Florida primary less than two weeks away, about 250,000 Republican voters have already cast their absentee ballots. That can’t be a good sign for onetime Tea Party golden boy Marco Rubio and the other three remaining Republican presidential contenders dreaming about knocking off frontrunner Donald Trump. Last week,…
The Oscars — a night that critics and movie lovers everywhere dread. The evening is a showcase of films that mislead the world into thinking they’re the best of the year when, in reality, they’re just the best-marketed. Enter stage left: #OscarsSoWhite. Enter stage right: host Chris Rock spending most…
As the Golden State Warriors inch closer to breaking the Chicago Bulls’ twenty-year old NBA record of 72 wins, talking heads have begun arguing over which team is the best of all time. Sports fans love to claim that whatever we’re witnessing at the moment is the best ever, while…
Just when you think the Miami Heat are dead-and-buried, they come out of the All Star break looking like they spent the time off filming an NBA-themed edition of Extreme Makeover. This pleasant rejuvenation has coincided with the complete absence of both Chris Bosh and the Dwyane Wade, proving sports continues…
This past Saturday, stray bullets killed King Carter, a 6-year-old first-grader who played little-league football for the Liberty City Optimist Club. I founded the club more than 25 years ago. I’m also a friend of the boy’s family. Little King was caught in the crossfire of a gunfight between several…
Even today, it’s impossible to think about the Miami Dolphins for more than five minutes without the name Dan Marino popping into your head. There are Dolphins fans who watched their child age from birth to high school graduation all while Marino was under center. Dan Marino is treated like…
The 2016 election may be the most Miami in history — two Cuban guys and a Communist. So Pepe Billete, the city’s most profane Cuban puppet, just had to get involved. Last night, the little man with the big voice tossed his half-smoked puro into the street, stamped on it, and…
Chris Bosh’s latest bout with blood clots has us seriously spooked, because less Chris Bosh is always a terrible thing. We aren’t just talking basketball here, we’re talking about in life. Miami needs more Bosh, everywhere, always. Whether it be in ten years, or ten months, one day Chris Bosh is…
Until February 5, Pepe Billete — the nation’s best-known profane Cuban-American puppet — was the top gun on Cristina Radio, a satellite station that launched on Sirius XM in 2011. Then he got a pink slip. Pepe Billete Uncensored was a funnier-than-hell conglomeration of “political satire, sports, and pop culture…..
Last week, Miami Jackson Senior High hired Lakatriona Brunson, a physical education teacher and star of the reality TV show South Beach Tow, as the first female high-school football head coach in Florida history. I was also brought on board as defensive coordinator and associate head coach. I have always…
Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez has no respect for Liberty City’s residents and the people who work tirelessly to help them. Last year, he unveiled a plan to demolish the Liberty Square public housing project and build a new community that would mix low-income apartments with market-rate rentals. The mayor and…
Now that the Super Bowl is over it’s time to face the cruel reality Dolphins fans have been dealing with for what feels like forever: football is gone, and it’s not coming back for a very long time. That sucks. We love football. We love football so much, that the…
After only his second season, Atlanta Falcons running back Devonta Freeman was named captain of his squad in the Pro Bowl last month. Also on the team were Minnesota Vikings quarterback Teddy Bridgewater and Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker Lavonte David, two Miami Northwestern Senior High alums. In the year that…
At some point over the last week — as Hassan Whiteside dropped three-straight Drake diss-track-games on New Times and other “haters” Meek Mill-asses — I realized I somehow had become the “they” DJ Khaled so often warns his fans of. I most definitely played myself. Recently when asked…
Don’t be alarmed by that smoke you see on the horizon — it’s just the result of thousands of Heat fans overworking their ESPN Trade Machines. Because it’s officially nonsense season, the time of year where every fan talks themselves into believing their team can find a trade partner thirsty…
The Heat have done everything possible to co-exist with the phenomena that is Hassan Whiteside. They’ve coddled him in ways they’ve rarely done for any player. They’ve structured contracts — including that of their franchise star — to ensure that they could remain in a position to break the bank…
Lets not beat around the bush here — unless something big changes, the Miami Heat aren’t going to be playing basketball late into the NBA playoffs. As of right now, we aren’t even sure they will be in the NBA playoffs. Thankfully, the season is young, and there is still…
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are the last people who should be leading a protest against the Academy Awards. All of a sudden, they want to fight for more minority representation at the Oscars because not a single black actor or director was nominated in any of the major…
It’s all the rage to register with no party affiliation in Florida. Independents now represent 24 percent of the electorate in the Sunshine State. Taking third party registrants into account, that means 27 percent of Florida voters aren’t affiliated with either major party. That’s a dramatic shift from just two…
Bill Cosby’s fall from grace is a lesson for all black celebrities who want to forget their origins. Last month, the 77-year-old comedian was arrested and criminally charged in Pennsylvania for allegedly raping a Temple University employee in 2005. In the past two years, more than 50 women have accused…
It’s award season, so we here at New Times decided now was as good as any to acknowledge the performances of a select few Miami Dolphins this past year. To be clear: This probably isn’t the sort of award Jada Pinkett Smith would be angry about her husband missing out…
