It was midday-hot in the tony neighborhood just north of Miami’s Design District this past June 22 when as many as twenty snipers took aim with high-power rifles. A deep male voice shouted, “Get down to the ground!” Minerva Vasquez hit the dirt. She pressed close to her doe-eyed, seven-year-old…
Stacy Provines is that rarest of all human specimens, a true brown-eyed blond. The 30-year-old native Miamian is also a makeup fiend and an inventor, which serves her well in her current job as CEO and chemist-in-chief of ten-year-old Tinte Cosmetics. Provines’s soon-to-be explosively popular line of eye shadows and…
Minister/Judge No conflict there, huh? Regarding Trevor Aaronson’s “Religious Conviction” (October 12): I am a former altar boy, and I graduated from Holy Cross College in 1969. When Judge Jose E. Martinez justified the attempted forced perjury by the Archdiocese of Miami, he obviously forgot one of the Ten Commandments:…
Robert Burr is an affable, silver-haired Coral Gables guide-book publisher, deep-ocean diver, and all-around raconteur who leads the popular monthly “wine walks” along Miracle Mile. He also has a nascent interest in (discussing, not drinking) other types of alcohol. So he recently decided to extend his roving lecture series to…
Don’t Trust the Commies They don’t respect corpses: In reference to Carlos Suarez De Jesus’s article “Body Count” (October 5): It’s great to learn that Premier Exhibitions has been assured by the Chinese that the bodies were legally obtained, but what does this assurance mean? China is a dictatorship, a…
Not Like La Gloria That’s impossible: Regarding Lee Klein’s “Chino-Latino No Go” (September 21): It is obvious that Mr. Klein has an ax to grind with the Estefans. His review of Oriente was one-sided and biased. I am a weekly customer of the restaurant and find the food quite delightful…
Blight Take Flight She’s our problem now: Regarding the story “Blight Flight” (September 14) by Rob Jordan: I have worked on urban revitalization for more than twenty years. Having worked with Lisa Mazique for more than seven years, I was surprised to learn Miami had hired her as the new…
Maitre d’: Your usual table, Mr. Christopher? Carlo Christopher: No, I’d like a good one this time. Maitre d’: I’m sorry. That is impossible. Christopher: Part of the new cruelty? Maitre d’: I’m afraid so. — L.A. Story, 1991 The delays have been so delicious, the denials so cruel, the…
Clad in a starched blue shirt and a red power tie, with black headphones sandwiching his handsome pate, the candidate adroitly parried the DJ’s questions. Democratic Congressional hopeful Ron Klein had braved more than an hour of predawn traffic to arrive at the spartan radio studio. The jock was disarming…
When The Bitch was a puppy, she spent hours listening to ad hoc lectures about the ancient world by her trusted advisor Sheramy Bundrick, an art history professor at the University of South Florida and former antiquities curator for the Metropolitan Museum in New York City. One of Bundrick’s areas…
Blind Free Weekly Open your eyes, Judy Miller: The moralizing trash-fest, “Blind Date,” (September 14) demonstrates once more that those who complain New Times is a sophomoric rag aimed at the prurient rather than the journalistic or, heaven forbid, the intellectually curious might just be correct. In the article, reporter…
Boobner Speaks And he thinks we are sensationalistic? I have had the opportunity to read the article that Josh Schonwald did in the August 31, 2006 edition of Miami New Times, “These Could Be Yours.” I was most upset with the misrepresentations in the article. When Schonwald first asked me…
This summer has seen the quiet launch of two niche magazines in the Magic City’s jumble of glossies, trades, and rags. When Indi Live Mag editor in chief Danielle Romero says her online bi-monthly publication is small, she isn’t kidding. Aside from Romero, who does all the writing, only three…
Get Off Here Exit 13 finally grabs the spotlight: Thank you for Abel Folgar’s recent review of Exit 13 (Live Wire, August 17). I have been attending the band’s shows for two years now, and it is nice to see local media noticing our hard-working indie musicians here in South…
Love and Complaint This film rocked: Regarding Frank Houston’s “Cine Havana” (August 17): I loved the movie. It captured the tempo and beauty of the real Cuba. What I found in Love & Suicide is what I would want to experience on a trip to Cuba — the pain of…
It’s nearly 1:00 a.m., and the Sunday-night party at Pearl (1 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach) is only just beginning. Pretty young blond women escorted by older men in suits or white half-buttoned shirts line a wall fitted with a fish tanklike contraption filled with champagne, bubbles racing to the top…
There are two things going on in gossipland that demand no further deconstruction. But since readers and tipsters actually asked for a Bitch investigation, here are her typically biased, predictably delusional conclusions. Into our most permissively louche South Florida social world, amid a pack of what passes for society columnists…
Alli — a petite, dark-haired 27-year-old sales rep from Kendall — is in a convivial spirit tonight at Glass (432 Arthur Godfrey Rd., Miami Beach). The newly renovated club is an offshoot of The Forge, Miami Beach’s 37-year-old house of drippy decadence, world-class cuisine, and immoderate imbibing. Previously Jimmy’z, this…
This past April, The Bitch was at a party (of course) where she met a pleasant, nattily dressed human male named Jim Konschnik. Despite the festive atmosphere at D’Vino in Coral Gables, Konschnik seemed quite subdued, and he relayed how difficult it was for him to unplug, even for a…
The Key to Magic We got the answer: Great article by Josh Schonwald, “Metal Magic” (August 17)! Well written and some really great phraseology. Does Trixx do corporate shows? How does one track him down short of looking for a battered single-wide in the Middle Keys? Pete Foley Atlanta, Georgia…
Who’s a Ho? Children’s books aren’t the issue: Regarding Rob Jordan’s story “Commie Book Ban” (August 10): Being the son of an ex-political prisoner of Cuba, I find this to be a sad political game and media whoring on behalf of Cubans who care less about Cuba being free and…
Just northwest of Homestead and Florida City, in the delicate agricultural buffer between the suburbs and the Everglades known as the Redland, lies the Schnebly Winery, the southernmost wine-making operation in the United States. This is where The Bitch headed this past Tuesday when a wave of homesickness for the…
