It’s Sunday night. The rains have begun, and the year’s first named storm has passed without blowing away any football stadiums or even lawn ornaments. Still, the bullshit flies farther and faster than a garden gnome in a 120-mile-per-hour gale at Billy’s Pub Too (732 NE 125th St., North Miami)…
No Tranquility by the Bay Saved a marriage: I am writing in response to the article by Joanne Green, “Rough Love” (June 22). We have a daughter who has been at Tranquility Bay for the past thirteen months. I can tell you that sending her there is the best thing…
When The Bitch heard that employees of three prominent CocoWalk eateries had been busted for running informal pharmacological operations, she got on the case; the touristy shopping zone may not contain a Nordstrom, but, hey, it’s within trotting distance. Robert Loupo, cochairman of the All-Grove Crime Watch group, sends out…
The Bitch was executing a Tokyo Drift-style parking-lot maneuver this past Wednesday night, which caused the Wire album embedded in the Bitchmobile’s CD player to become dislodged and fly out the window, thereby becoming the property of Walgreens. The consequence of this sequence of events was positive, though. The FM…
Minority Uproar-ity Parity works: I’d like to clarify some issues Chuck Strouse raised in his column “Wrong Way Out” (June 29), about the National Association of Hispanic Journalists’ Parity Project. Parity’s goal is to go after the nation’s “worst offenders” — the newspapers throughout the country that have the fewest…
It’s Wednesday night at the Purdy Lounge (1811 Purdy Ave., Miami Beach) and the faces are decidedly young. The weathered recliners that pepper the rectangular room may even be older than the asses nestled in them. Price, a local boy band composed of five stringy-haired guitarists and a drummer, stands…
Tranquil No More A parent’s remorse: Joanne Green’s “Rough Love” (June 22) article was compelling, moving, heart-wrenching — excellent reporting. Green wrote a story that brought me to tears. Over the past six years I have read more than 200 articles on WWASPS. Some are excellent, some are vague, but…
It sounds great. Prod media companies to hire more Hispanics and improve relations with the Latino community. Indeed, in just the past three years foundations have forked out more than $1.3 million to support this noble idea through a national effort called the Parity Project. Problem is, it ain’t working…
Lip augmentation, probably the most common cosmetic procedure performed in South Florida, is trickier than the proliferation of Paris pouts here might suggest. Too little filler and you’ve got a kisser full of needle pricks; too much and you look like the owner of a South Beach modeling agency. The…
Miami = Switzerland At least if you’re Mormon: Francisco Alvarado’s article about Mormon missionaries, “Sidewalk Salvation” (June 15), was great. The writer has a unique and fresh way of writing. He did a good job of describing their daily lives. My son is on a mission in Switzerland, and it…
The words epic and classic — favorite Bitch exclamations for happenings with high and very low extremes of social entertainment value — can barely be applied to this past Saturday night’s iteration of the Wynwood Art/Design District gallery walk. It was appropriately held under a full moon amid intermittent interludes…
Pearls Without Whine Perfect is far from Gitmo: Congratulations to Emily Witt for the article “Pearl of the Antilles” (June 8). I consider it important that this topic, so many times discussed in international forums, can now be discussed in the United States. By writing the article, Ms. Witt contributed…
The Taste of Andalucia food festival began auspiciously enough this past Monday evening. Guests streaming through the foyer of the InterContinental Miami Hotel’s ballroom were greeted with bouquets of red carnations handed out by mantilla-clad women. David Maldonaldo, a venenciador from Cadiz, drew small but potent sherry glasses of fino…
Osama bin Tourism It was 9/11 that got the bouncer: I was, and I am, extremely disturbed, as a Miami Beach resident and taxi driver, to learn of the murder of a bouncer at the very high-end Mansion Discotheque (“Full Moon Murder” by Lyssa Oberkreser, May 25). That very night,…
The first annual Memorial Fest began as an awesome day of music and fun in the blazing heat. Lady Saw’s performance was as wonderfully explicit as The Bitch had anticipated — filled with advice for females who want to beautify and “bling out” their nether regions. Cocoa Tea was absolutely…
This Prosecutor’s Still Stingin’ Just a lawyer with Web access: I am writing, not only to call you out for printing an out-of-date, recycled story, but to make a few clarifications and comments about Robert Powell’s “Four Wheels, No Breaks” (May 25). I have never been involved in the prosecution…
This past Saturday night, while many concerned themselves with extrapolation of The Da Vinci Code, The Bitch immersed herself in another canon from Rome similarly disparaged by the Vatican: Vogue Italia. A thorough decryption of the impressive June tome was made possible in the comfortable environment of D’Vino, a relatively…
Best Babble Yeah, well there’s that: Regarding “Best Parking in Miami Beach” (May 11): Perhaps the garage at Tenth Street between Alton and West is “usually almost empty, clean, well lit, and conveniently located,” but how about being just safe? Over the past few months I’ve been informed of several…
There is little The Bitch loves more than the languid days of summer, when there is nothing but lawn darts, Parcheesi, backgammon, shuffleboard, and Wiffle ball to occupy twilight game-time. But one sport captures a canine’s heart like no other: catch-and-release bunny-chasing. So the intrepid hound’s ears pricked up at…
Best Babble Sing sing: Before publication of “Best of Miami” (May 11), I took a long, hard look at the past winners of Best Karaoke and noticed the best in 2004 and 2005 both ended up firing the KJ shortly after publication. So I kind of hoped Karaoke Miami would…
She’s Local Forget that Brando, dude: In the May 4 Miami New Times, the “DVDish” item by Robert Wilonsky about the Tennessee Williams Film Collection missed a significant opportunity for a Miami connection. You might have added an appropriate caption under the picture of the 23-year-old Marlon Brando and Kim…
On a recent episode of The Sopranos, coke-snorting Christopher Moltisanti pestered Sir Ben Kingsley. The beleaguered mobster tried in vain to persuade the knighted actor’s character to help him snag some swag from the Chateau Marmont’s “Luxury Lounge.” Free shopping sprees available only to celebrities are part of perk lore,…
