We all know the human body consists of 60- to 70-percent water. And that’s why your friendly family doctor suggests that every human being should suck back several liters of liquid per day. Neglecting your body’s need for pure, precious H2O will result in constipation, chapped lips, cold hands, lack…
One of the quintessential Ultra Music Festival experiences that rarely gets any press is the average attendee’s trip to the port-a-potty. Well, I was waiting in line last night at 10:14 p.m. trying not to piss my pants and thought, “Somebody’s gotta document it. Why not me?” But whipping out…
Sure, Ultra Music Festival’s a good time. But if you aren’t careful, it can get the better of you. Greater men (and ladies) than you have fallen waste to the onslaught of this three day electro extravaganza. So there’s a decent chance that you might have, in the midst of…
OMFG, the Ultra Music Festival grounds are littered with glowsticks. There are red ones, blue ones, green ones, bright ones, dull ones, dead ones, smashed ones, fat ones, skinny ones, short ones, long ones, and some you don’t even want to touch for fear of dibutyl phthalate contamination and STDs…
Holy crap, how could we forget? The non-relevant ’80s band! Of course, this particular Ultra Bingo square was explicitly concocted in honor of Duran Duran. Just look closely and you’ll see that the illustration is actually the cover of 1983’s multi-platinum Rio. But when we were at Ultra Music Festival…
Late last night, just as midnight hit and the Ultra Music Festival’s Main Stage MC was breaking up the party, we saw an enormous creature pop out of a hole in the ground. We were like, “WTF?” And then we took a closer look … It was actually a human…
Yo, beat freaks! It’s time again to break out your Ultra/Miami Music Week 2011 bingo cards. Only 12 hours ago, we here at Crossfade filled our very first square by spotting a guy with the Ultra logo shaved into the back of his head at Juicy Beach. And already we’re…
Got your Ultra/Miami Music Week 2011 bingo cards ready? Because we’ve already found our first visual item. It didn’t take long to find a guy with the Ultra logo shaved into his head, and where else would he be hanging out but Nikki Beach.Check out the photographic evidence after the…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series…
With the Miami-Dade County Commission likely to set a special election for a new mayor today, the Latin Builders Association has already made plans to hold the first debate on March 25 with only a select group of candidates: Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina, County Commissioner Carlos Gimenez, and Marcelo LLorente…
I passed by one of the new South Beach rental bicycle racks just after the bikes were installed last week. A few years back my wife and I took advantage of the same system in Paris, and I have a photo of the bicycles lined up on a street in…
NFL lockout: Players should form their own teams
Letters from the issue of March 24, 2011
One of the highlights of any cruise experience is the never-ending free food. In fact, more than most types of vacations, cruises are expected to come with a bit of a weight gain. Without the food, you’re struck on a giant ship in a small room with a bunch of…
“This story begins earlier this year, just as the very first crocuses peeped from the frosted ground. One cold bright morning, George Ball, the proprietor of W. Atlee Burpee, the gardening company, discovered a curious looking green envelope in his mailbox. He noticed the pages gave off a distinct bouquet:…
Miguel Exposito should just go back to his usual routine of not speaking to the media about the shooting of seven black men by his police officers. The embattled Miami Police chief was interviewed by the New York Times about the shootings and a video clip for a proposed reality…
It’s Wednesday, and what better way to celebrate hump day than with a collection of morons, right? In this edition of Riptide’s occasional series Morons of the Week, you’ll meet a 92-year-old lady and her hunky, 53-year-old neighbor, as well as a dude who didn’t pass the NY bar. But…
There are overpriced dishes, and then there are really overpriced dishes. The tough part wasn’t finding ten such sucker deals, but whittling down the list to only ten. Once you peruse a hundred or so Miami restaurant menus, it becomes clear there are bad deals across the spectrum. So don’t…
Ladies who have a vested interested in keeping their breasted interests private might want to steer clear of Automatic Slim’s on South Beach this Wednesday. Women who don’t mind appearing topless on television screens of men too timid to buy real porn, well then perk up and make your plans…
What’s a crack reporter over at the Miami Herald to do when the newswire stops spitting out 700 words’ worth of cheap and easy automatic copy every couple of minutes? Read and regurgitate a tabloid rag called New Times, obviously. If, like us, you buy the Herald’s bloated Sunday edition…
Flipper is dead. Actually, the six dolphins who played him are. But that hasn’t stopped Miami Seaquarium from planning the Flipper’s Truck Stop food truck rally for this Sunday, March 27. A dozen trucks are scheduled to be there, including seafood-centric Fish Box and Jefe’s Original Fish Taco and Burger.You…
Ultra is only four days away. But the parties start tonight. And with dance music and rave culture letting its freak flag fly the entire week, we’ve decide to honor it with a fun game of Bingo! Well, with a slight Miami Music Week/Ultra Music Festival twist.Instead of numbers, the…
