We here at Crossfade generally consider ourselves to be gentle, caring individuals with boundless love for our fellow human creatures. So why is it that we find other people’s pain so fucking funny? Especially celebrity pain? Honestly, it’s sick. And right now, we can’t stop crapping our pants over this…
Luther Campbell is in the mayor’s race. Now he just needs to settle on a campaign slogan. The high school football assistant coach and Miami New Times columnist was officially accepted by the Miami-Dade Elections Department as a candidate for county mayor. Campbell joins a field that includes former county…
Today, voters in Coral Gables will either give Don Slesnick a third term or elect a new mayor. Two city commission seats are also up for grabs in a city election that has seen all the candidates raise close to one million dollars combined.And unlike previous election seasons, this cycle…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke — who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding ex-Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez — explains why a rerun…
Hey, little monsters. Crossfade knows you want to look superfierce for Wednesday’s Lady Gaga concert at the American Airlines Arena. But there are still a few guidelines that you’ll have to carefully follow if your fabulously freaky ensemble’s gonna be up to code.In fact, arena management has posted a warning…
Here at Short Order, our collectively beady eyes are always on the lookout for delectable plates of food that do not require a ransom to acquire. On the one hand, there are more than five such deals; on the other, there aren’t as many as one might think. Here’s a…
As the tax season draws to a close this week, some of our more recognizable citizens are probably wondering if Uncle Sam will catch them cheating on their taxes again. Take Lil Wayne, who was just popped by the Internal Revenue Service for not paying his fair share in 2008…
This past Wednesday night, a couple dozen Miami-Dade voters gathered inside a back dining room of Town Kitchen & Bar in South Miami to hear New Times columnist Luther Campbell, county Commissioner Carlos Gimenez, and former state Rep. Marcelo Llorente talk about their platforms for Miami-Dade mayor.It was an intimate…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series…
Admittedly, dear readers, I’ve never been the savviest of hip-hop scribes. Nah, it would be a sham to claim so. I was born out of my father’s Bossa Nova and my mother’s disco. I smashed my head on the punk rock and tempered it with metal. Music is love. A…
While Miami-Dade County residents paid higher property taxes last year, Hialeah Mayor and Miami-Dade County mayoral candidate Julio Robaina did not pay property taxes on a shopping center he owns in his city. In fact, it appears Robaina has avoided paying taxes on the building since 2006, when he and…
The Jacuzzi Boys have definitely made it big. You know why we know this? Not because they have a live album out on Jack White’s Third Man Records. And not because they just got back from a monthlong American tour. But because they’ve got a performance featured on WFMU. Gabriel Alcala…
Maybe Ron Book is losing his touch. On Monday, Miami-Dade County commissioners denied Book’s request to lobby on behalf of a private client pushing a state bill the county is against. The ultra influential lobbyist represents Miami-Dade before the Florida Legislature. But he also works for the Florida Apartment Association,…
Julio Robaina’s slush fund can buy lap dances and stone crab claws
Letters from the issue of April 7, 2011
Drug Czars On Venus (Fruit Bat Entertainment) myspace.com/drugczars Last time we looked at the Drug Czars, we drew little lines separating the old from the new and identified these guys as potential line-blurrers. And keeping in the tradition of skipping around in artist’s catalogues, we’ll be looking at their last…
An assistant principal’s mistake led Miami Northwestern High to get graded a D instead of a C last year. But the state’s education commissioner won’t grant Miami-Dade Public Schools’ request to give Northwestern the higher grade. As a result, the students at the storied African-American school are being punished for…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke – who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding ex-Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez – has a few things…
Update: Ron Book tells Banana Republican that it was unfair to characterize his representation of municipal governments and private clients with competing interests as something bad. “I didn’t do anything nefarious or unethical,” he says. “Your story implies I did, and that is wrong.”Just call superlobbyist Ron Book the Waiver…
A muscular, scowling man sits at a dining room table. As he fiddles with a folding knife and puts bullets into a magazine clip, we hear his ominous voice: “Narcotics run Miami. Everyone bossing up trying to be the man and shit. But you know what they say: Don’t hate…
Load Lumberjack Death Luge(Ballad of Son of Crusher) Seven-Inch (House O’Pain Records) I have purposely left Load out of the rotation for a bit now since I started these Blasts From the Past slightly over a year ago. Call it professional payback for Bobby Load never remembering meeting me back in…
The basic aim of a sumo wrestler is to push or throw your opponent out of the ring. The bigger you are, the easier it is to push your opponent — hence the large size of the sumo. How do sumo grow so large, and are they athletes or just…
