Could The Real Swamp Snakes of Everglades City or America’s Next Top Invasive Species be coming to your television set anytime soon? Possibly. Over the next two months, not one, but two cable channels are set to roll out reality television shows based on snakes living in the swamps of…
Sometimes you’re so hungry you believe you can devour everything on a menu and then some. The next time that feeling hits, head to one of these restaurants to take on an epic battle of man and food. Your friends might say they are disgusted after watching you muck down…
Early voting begins today. That means in 15 days we will know who the next Miami-Dade Mayor is. Will it be the Hialeah snake oil salesman ward boss, the ex-fire chief, the Tulane-educated lawyer, or Miami’s favorite uncle? And whoever wins, will he still be a strong mayor or will voters…
The folks over at conservative glossy The Weekly Standard think Luther Campbell’s run is serious enough to warrant a 7,228-word profile. Writer Matt Labash spent a considerable amount of time shadowing Campbell early in his campaign. Kudos to his editors for allowing him the space to explore the complexities that…
In honor of that annual American tradition taking place Saturday at 6:24 p.m, the Kentucky Derby, Short Order has compiled a list of the top five dishes made with the dinner of champions: horse meat. Now, before you let your preconceived notions and ethnocentric American ideals take over, check out…
For someone who is the presumed front runner in the race to become the new Miami-Dade Mayor, Julio Robaina is showing he has no backbone. He’s been conspicuously AWOL from candidate forums where he knows he’ll face a tough crowd and skipped out on his interview with The Miami Herald…
Crossfade loves a good laugh at the wonderful, weird range of human expression. Hence, last week’s deep anthropological studies on the phenomena that are these five crazy dances. Or the amazingness that is Mexican tribal guarachero and its related fashion. But that was just scratching the surface in the contemporary world…
A Miami-Dade County commissioner wants us to know that $790,000 is a “little bit of money and not a whole lot.” During the May 3 discussion concerning the Public Health Trust’s executive board, Javier Souto digressed from one of his typical winded soliloquies on the role of county commissioners to…
Despite repeated CPR attempts by Nas, it appears hip-hop officially flatlined last week, suffering a painful, humiliating death at the hands of an assailant known as Soulja Boy. The murderer suffers from a massive delusional disorder and he’s known for many inexplicable acts, such as smearing Wite-Out all over his sunglasses, basically…
Luther Campbell doesn’t just have taxing strippers and decriminalizing marijuana on his mind. This past April 25, as he cruised from one special event to another in downtown Miami, the county mayoral candidate and New Times columnist offered up his plan for local government reform. “If you run for office,…
Letters from the issue of May 5, 2011
Miami’s black commissioners must go
Happy Cinco de Mayo, chingones! Pardon our French — er, Mexican — but tequila does that to you. Anyway, that fifth day of May is upon us once again. And you know what that means … It’s time to boisterously celebrate Mexico’s Independence Day. Even though that’s not really until…
There’s no better way to express pure joy than the art of song. So when the news broke on Sunday that Obama had killed Osama, a giddy mob of superpatriotic Americans flocked to special spots like the White House, Ground Zero, and Times Square to musically convey its overwhelming excitement…
Some of the worst mistakes restaurants can make occur at the beginning of the dining experience or before you sit down. Many have to do with hosts and hostesses, but they are usually just messengers delivering the repercussive news of bad management decisions.1. When you’re making a reservation by phone,…
Tonight’s in-store show at Sweat Records, brought to you by the people behind the Death to the Sun series, presents rowdier fare than usual. Original headliners, the ominously named Brooklyn duo Unstoppable Death Machines, have canceled. but there’s still plenty of weirdness. To wit, touring circus Terror Pigeon Dance Revolt,…
Upon reading Billboard’s report that crappy rap-country mish-masher Kid Rock received a Great Expectations Award from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People on Sunday, our first reaction was, WTF? People still listen to Kid Rock? Our second thought was, WTF? How has Kid Rock advanced anything other than the general…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke — who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding ex-Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez on May 24 — calls…
Unless you’ve been holed up in a $1 million dollar compound without phone, internet, or cable service, you’ve heard the news … Osama bin Laden is dead. Yesterday, the mass-murdering founder of Al Qaeda, Most Wanted Man in the Universe, facial-hair aficionado, evil millionaire, and general asshole was shot through…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke praises George W. Bush, President Barack Obama, and the U.S. soldiers who took out Osama…
Raleigh Flowers lives in a three-bedroom condo with brand-new kitchen cabinets and freshly painted walls in a lushly landscaped residential development in west Hialeah. It is certainly a home fit for a Hialeah Police major earning at least $3,500 every two weeks. Except this cop doesn’t have to pay rent…
My old buddy Bob Norman is shipping outta New Times Broward Palm Beach and heading for the TV news. Bob has been the franchise player at that paper for years — ably assisted by the likes of a staff that has included stars like Sam Eifling, Ed Newton, Tony Ortega,…
