“Bad Teacher,” and “Big Brother 13” on the screen, we at Short Order think you need a drink. So check out the top ten weirdest, most outlandish, and highest “grossing” drinks in movie history…
Based on what happened at yesterday’s Miami-Dade County Commission meeting, there is no way the taxpayers are getting their money back. Let’s face it, folks: The county is not going to sue or cut off the Marlins at this point, which is why county commissioners approved issuing $42 million in…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
l carajo,” translates to the crow’s nest of a Spanish Gallion. Almost everyone knows, however, that it is slang for almost anything too far away or crappy (as in “vete para carajo” or “go to hell”). That pretty much summed up my experience at El Carajo, the tapas restaurant hidden in the…
Letters from the issue of July 7, 2011
Miami cops beat 85-year-old lady turned ninja assassin
According to the Washintgon Post, baked goods company Entenmann’s is doing emergency public relations backflips after someone at the makers of boxed coffee cakes tweeted “Who’s #notguilty about eating all the tasty treats they want? on their official @Entenmanns Twitter feed What’s the problem? The #notguilty hashtag was actually related…
More than a month after he was executed outside his North Miami venue, The Literary Cafe and Poetry Lounge, Will “Da Real One” Bell’s murder remains a mystery. Last week, Crimestoppers of Miami put up a $1,000 reward for any information on the suspects. Family and friends of the slain…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke lets Miami police officers know there are bigger threats to their safety than 85-year-old grandmothers.Don’t let Hazel…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Apples and Oranges Look out: It’s unfortunate there are schools like the ones you describe that use McKay vouchers from the state (“Rotten to the Core,” Gus Garcia-Roberts,” June 23). If there were more accountability, maybe these schools wouldn’t exist. I’m sure all of us taxpayers would rather spend a…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke wages war against the nonblack elites. If you are an African-American civic leader in Miami, you’re better…
The swag-hop absurdists of rap collective Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them are once again being called out for what critics decry as misogyny and homophobia in their lyrics. A few months ago, Sara, from Tegan and Sara, wrote a blog attacking Tyler The Creator, as well as his music…
Carlos Gimenez won’t get sworn in as mayor until at least Friday, but he is already getting to work. Blogger Elaine de Valle reports Gimenez will be meeting today with County Manager Alina Hudak to start work on the budget which has to be presented to the county commission in…
The BET Awards were held this past Sunday and some really confusing, awkward shit went down in the middle of granting the Viewer’s Choice Award. Some fans were invited onstage to announce this year’s winner, which at first was Chris Brown. But only a few seconds after Brown received the…
I’m over it.First Pollo Tropical decides to Americanize the menu of its restaurants in the Northeast to attract more Anglo diners, then Dunkin’ Donuts comes out with the “Cuban Flatbread Sandwich,” and now, in what just might be one of the most derogatory forms of flattery I have ever seen,…
Today is your last chance to decide which of the least suckiest candidates for county mayor you want to vote for. Yesterday, we told you how Julio Robaina shoved it to the taxpayers.Well, Carlos Gimenez has done his fair share of giving it to us with no Vaseline as well…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke wages war against Miami’s elitist secret society.If you are an African American civic leader in Miami, you’re…
You know Miami-Dade politics is a joke when the county mayor’s race comes down to which guy sucks less. If you’re into a Cuban version of Arthur Fonzerelli with his own private shadow bank, you’ll vote for Julio Robaina. If you’re interested in the fire chief version of recently ousted…
Yelp started as a great way to spread the word on favorite restaurants and insider tips (ask for the veal, not generally on the menu or the waiter will bring you sparkling water at no extra charge). We laughed at and loved the reviews, but sometimes it seemed like Yelpers…
Being a talentless human turd with absolutely no sense of shame is one of the key prerequisites for any wannabe “reality TV star.” And while The Real Housewives of DC may have been canceled, Michaele Salahi remains talentless, human, and a turd. She also has absolutely no sense of shame,…
The “How badly will Langerado fuck up this time?” saga continued earlier this week when the much-maligned festival sent out a mass email to fans asking for band suggestions. “Help us round out the lineup and show off the sonic sweetness coming out of South Florida,” the email begged. Help…
