Perhaps I could borrow some honey. (Pooh’s stomach growls.) Just a taste. A small lick I should think. Have you seen the promos for the new Winnie the Pooh movie out today? It’s so utterly nostalgic, (dare I even say cute?) capturing even the hearts of grown men. Focusing on…
You may not have noticed Rock of Ages in South Florida for what seems to be the past grillion years. This movie, adapted from the Browaday musical that tells the tale of a boy and a girl through ’80s hair band music, is set in Los Angeles. This is the…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
How the heck special interest groups and corporate conglomerates keep counting on Miami-Dade County Commissioner Bruno Barreiro is beyond belief. It’s no secret Bruno the Dim is one of their tools, but the man can’t pass legislation to save his life.His latest failure was his inability to get one of…
There is nothing on Earth more terrifying that the wrath of a Justin Bieber megafan with access to a Twitter account and a Blinkee-enhanced photo of the Biebz. Don’t believe us? Witness the clusterfuck that ensued yesterday over a rumor, spread through blogs and comment sections, that the Bieber video…
Wiz Khalifa broke hip-hop code
Go Figure More distortion: Village Voice Media is wrong to use underage prostitution arrest records to argue against the mass media’s highly distorted figures (“Stuck in Trafficking,” Tony Ortega, July 7). Village Voice knows that this is an extreme underestimate and not even an appropriate statistic to use when trying…
Interim Florida Education Commissioner John L. Wynn’s controversial plan to screw over the students at Miami Edison Senior High and Miami Central Senior High has to be stopped. The state’s top education man is proposing that the schools be closed for a year, converted into charter schools, or turned over…
Americans spent about $40 million last year on weight-loss products. If you count the rest of the world, that jumps to about $60 billion. Let’s hope the documentary Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead will change those numbers a bit.The reason we spend so much money on diet books, weight-loss supplements,…
The Miami Police Department’s crackdown on illegal gambling machines continued today with the arrest of Luis Boris Estrada. Cops busted the 42-year-old Cuban for operating six “maquinitas” at the Rapido Discount he manages at 2742 SW Eighth Street, finding $1,000 in one of the machines. Miami Police Chief Miguel Exposito…
Carlos Gimenez is turning to a trusted face to help him run Miami-Dade County government. Banana Republican has confirmed Gimenez is bringing back Genaro “Chip” Iglesias, whom we predicted last week would be part of the new mayor’s team. Iglesias will start in 60 days as chief-of-staff/deputy-mayor at an annual…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why Wiz Khalifa shouldn’t settle for Kanye West’s sloppy seconds.Wiz Khalifa needs to have his head…
As Bambi, one of the strippers, watched a jazz and funk band perform for the all-nude female dancers at Bare Necessity yesterday afternoon, she declared good-naturedly, “It’s a good alternative to brunch!” When we walked into the lounge, Seizurely was playing “Shake Your Groove Thing” as a thick-bodied stripper lazily…
South Beach has played host to some of television’s worst reality shows, but we can’t imagine an hour of programming that will be more locally loathed than South Beach Tow. The show follows the family and employees behind Tremont Towing, the ruthless company that makes sure you’ll never catch a…
North Bay Village Mayor Corina Esquijarosa’s days in office might be numbered. Political action committee Citizens for Full Disclosure has collected 414 signatures from village residents for its petition to give the mayor the boot.The group targeted Esquijarosa earlier this year after she was busted for lying on her personal…
Our sister paper, the Village Voice, yesterday published an explosive exposé about the conflict between Placido Domingo Jr., son of the famous opera tenor, and the Church of Scientology. The younger Domingo, a composer, is in Miami working on a recording.A 20-year member of the Florida-based religion, Domingo says he is…
Miami has long been the unofficial fake boob capital of the country, probably the world (nice try, Caracas).Now, however, the Transportation Security Administration says that terrorists may be plotting suicide bombings using surgical implants.Suddenly our artificially enhanced paradise is looking scarier than a dark alley in Mazar-i-Sharif, Afghanistan…
Let’s not sugarcoat our words: The report released yesterday by Trust for America’s Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation (RWJF) is just more fodder for the notion that Americans are disgustingly obese people who simply cannot stop stuffing their dumb faces with fake, horrible, lardaceous foods. The proof is…
“Bad Teacher,” and “Big Brother 13” on the screen, we at Short Order think you need a drink. So check out the top ten weirdest, most outlandish, and highest “grossing” drinks in movie history…
Based on what happened at yesterday’s Miami-Dade County Commission meeting, there is no way the taxpayers are getting their money back. Let’s face it, folks: The county is not going to sue or cut off the Marlins at this point, which is why county commissioners approved issuing $42 million in…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
l carajo,” translates to the crow’s nest of a Spanish Gallion. Almost everyone knows, however, that it is slang for almost anything too far away or crappy (as in “vete para carajo” or “go to hell”). That pretty much summed up my experience at El Carajo, the tapas restaurant hidden in the…
