David Lee Roth isn’t so sad and lonely anymore. The 57-year-old “gigolo” has reunited with his Dutch-brothers-from-another-mother — Eddie and Alex — and he’s gearing up for Van Halen’s North American tour, hitting the BankAtlantic Center on April 10. The only problem: It’s not 1978. Shortly after midnight last night,…
Today the voters of New Hampshire will trudge through miserable weather and vote for their preferred Republican candidate in the presidential primary. You are probably familiar with all of the folks running by now: Newty, Mittens, Sneezy, Grumpy, etc. If they look a bit pale and green around the gills,…
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell rates the racist credentials of the Republican Party presidential nominees. What happened to the party of Abraham Lincoln?…
It’s been entirely too long, 14 years since a Monica and Brandy collaboration. However, the wait may soon be over. “The Boy Is Mine” divas spent this past weekend inside a Miami studio laying down vocals for “Turn the Lights On,” a track off Monica’s forthcoming record, New Life. Monica…
TMZ interviewing KISS frontman Gene Simmons about controversial Christian virgin and Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow? Sounds like one of those “…walks into a bar” bits, only the punchline doesn’t give you a case of uncontrollable giggles. It just makes you wanna puke. But whatever … The KISS creep is…
Did you hear about O’Grime’s New Year’s Resolution? Yes, dude, that O’Grime. The big-in-Lithuania, “Kush Smoke and Pussy” guys. Word on the street (and by street, we mean Facebook Chat) is that in 2012 O’Grime is not actually going to give a single fuck. Not one. You didn’t see it…
With a slew of national musical acts filling seats, and LeBron James and Chris Bosh propelling the Miami Heat to the NBA Finals, the American Airlines Arena brought in a record-breaking $60 million in revenue in 2011. Yet for the 13th straight year, the Heat won’t be sharing any of…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
“The grocery store has become a Tower of Babel,” said Louis Sullivan back in 1990. “Consumers need to be linguists, scientists, and mind readers to understand the many labels they see.”Sullivan at the time was Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services, and he instructed the FDA to…
Yesterday, Miami’s largest business organization put its support behind destination casino resorts, which should please its new landlord. The Greater Miami Chamber of Commerce passed a resolution to back the proposed state casino bill that might allow Malaysian-based Genting to turn the site of the Miami Herald and the Omni…
Even the simple act of hiring a company to lay down asphalt can turn political.Today, Miami-Dade County commissioners are supposed to vote on giving a $1 million contract to General Asphalt Inc., to resurface roads. The company won the deal after its competitor, H & J Paving, was disqualified by…
Reader mail: Upscale-burger-joint trend needs to go
Black quarterbacks have no role models in the NFL
A man (who apparently received oodles of bandannas and dark clothing for Christmas) is suspected of robbing two fast-food joints in Pennsylvania the same morning. Both robberies occurred during the early hours of December 31.According to CBS News 21, the suspect first hit a Wendy’s shortly after 6 a.m. on…
We’ve never really bought into Xavier Suarez’s hokey, at times egomaniacal, approach to governing. And it’s difficult to get past the fact he is forever linked to the 1997 Miami mayoral voter fraud scandal that had dead people casting ballots. That said, the X-Man has devised a bold plan to…
50 Cent is dying. “I’ll be honest,” 50 Cent tweeted January 2, “I don’t think I’m gonna live much longer. That’s why I started my street king movement.” The 36-year-old rapper isn’t terminally ill. He’s just “conscious that life is short” and admittedly “not suicidal.” Nevertheless, Curtis Jackson has been…
The lowest point of Cee Lo Green’s year? If you ask most people, it was July 17, 2011, when the ex-Goodie Mob member, “Crazy” crooner, and co-“coach” on NBC’s The Voice got miffed about a concert review by City Pages’ Andrea Swenson and promptly unleashed a can of homophobic whoop-ass…
Once in a while comes along a story so bizarre, so fascinating, that all that needs to be done is some good, old-fashioned reporting of the facts.According to an article in the Digital Journal, on December 18, Mary Ellen Lisee, 45, repeatedly called 911 for help. Her reason, at least…
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell addresses why African-American NFL quarterbacks don’t have any heroes to look up to. In baseball, African-American players can…
While y’all were nursing a hangover on New Year’s Day, one newly engaged musician kicked off 2012 with a topless Hawaiian snorkeling adventure. This rock ‘n’ roller’s chest looks great for a 63-year-old woman but alarmingly droopy for a 63-year-old man. Sadly, however, this person is in much better shape…
Banana Republican is not buying into the notion that a big Mayan-predicted asteroid will pulverize sunny South Florida in 2012, but we’re willing to make some other pretty bold predictions:Real estate developer Jorge M. Perez will realize he’s a lot less rich than he thought, so he’ll rescind his $35…
It’s been a hell of a year, folks. We’ve had a lot of food and food industry-related news this year, and not all of it has been pretty.As a nod to the upcoming year and as a way of reminiscing, I’ve gone back over my Fuming Foodie archives and amassed…
