Miami Herald Endorses Luther Campbell? Hell Nah! He’s Our Candidate!

Bad enough The Miami Herald poaches New Times stories without giving us credit, but now they want to co-opt our mayoral candidate. Yesterday, the city’s only major daily newspaper published a column by local African American blogger Joy-Ann Reid essentially endorsing Luther Campbell for county mayor. The 726-word opinion piece…

Cavity’s Wounded EP Is a Monument to Feedback, Distortion, and Savagery

Cavity Wounded EP (No! Records) myspace.com/cavitysludge I remember Dan Gorostiaga tracking me down amid the many thoroughfares of Florida International University back in 1998 and giving me a copy of this seven-inch. Like all Cavity releases, it featured great cover art and even better music within its grooves. But like…

Governor Rick Scott Really Understands Blacks. Really!!

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses Gov. Rick Scott’s alienation from African Americans.Last week, Good Ole Gov. Ricky tried to explain to…

Luther Campbell Gives Keynote Speech At Law Symposium

Fresh off his media tour addressing his desire to run for Miami-Dade County mayor, Luther Campbell is dropping his knowledge about the music industry and professional sports at Nova Southeastern University on Saturday.The school’s Shepard Broad Law Center enlisted Uncle Luke to give the keynote address at its sports and…

I brought up Pitbull from a Pitpuppy

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke describes Pitbull’s early struggles in the rap game. When Jennifer Lopez debuted her new single “On the…

Letters from the issue of February 17, 2011

Booked for Shamelessness Live to tell: Your cover story about Andrés López, the Colombian cocaine king turned informant, is a tale of sin, harm, and regrettable neglect, not romance (“Florecita’s Cartel,” Tim Elfrink, February 10). I hope López survives to relate the tragedies, misguidance, and destruction he and others unfortunately…

Mr. Pauer’s “Cumbión Del Sur” Off New Album Soundtrack

​More than anything, local fans of groovy global sounds probably know Toto Gonzalez (AKA Mr. Pauer) for his behind-the-scenes activities. After founding the Fabrikalink newsletter and promotions arm more than a decade ago, he’s served as a curator for all kinds of multilingual and interesting happening in Miami. And as…

I Raised Pitbull When He Was Just a Pitpuppy

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke describes Pitbull’s early struggles in the rap game.When Jennifer Lopez debuted her new single “On the Floor,”…

Doof Glob: The Food Blog For Dyslexics (Plus Other Niche Ideas)

​There are food blogs aplenty in this land, and lots of niches have been covered. Locally, locavores can dig Mango & Lime, carnivores congregate at The Burger Beast, and French Fry Fairy appeals to fairies — or maybe to those who like fried potatoes. I never have been able to…

Moët I-395 Billboard an Obnoxious & Dangerous Distraction

As though the combination of drinking champagne and driving a car hasn’t created enough traffic accidents over the years, Moët & Chandon is launching a distracting digital billboard visible to drivers heading into Miami Beach via I-395.The billboard ad campaign, which starts today, is called “Miami 16 Seconds of Fame.”…

Mugshots Friday Will Return Next Week

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken in Miami-Dade County in the week previous. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain-out look more badass than we ever will . This is the italicized intro to that…

Natacha Seijas and Pepe Diaz Twist The Truth In Contract Flap

County Commissioners Pepe Diaz and Natacha Seijas sure know how to dish out the bullshit when they are trying to help a friend hold on to a lucrative county contract. Two days ago, during the Internal Management & Fiscal Responsibility committee meeting, the pair chided Procurement Director Miriam Singer for…

Letters from the issue of February 10, 2011

Straight Talk Unmasked crusader: Great article profiling bisexual Peruvian talk show host and presidential candidate Jaime Bayly (“Bad Boy Bayly,” Michael Miller, February 3). Aside from all his personal and professional controversies, Bayly fights hypocrisy, unmasking all those liars who go through life pretending they are perfect. I like that…

National Signing Day: pettiness reigns

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the pettiness of college football’s National Signing Day. On National Signing Day last week, University of…

Cavity’s Goin’ Ann Arbor/Sometime Sweet Susan 7″

CavityGoin’ Ann Arbor/Sometime Sweet Susan 7″(Rhetoric Records) What can I say? It doesn’t always work out. Case in point: My mother tried so hard to make me an upright citizen, a contributor, an eventual CEO, MBA candidate, whatever-the-fuck. She never imagined in her wildest dreams that I’d be some abject…

Pettiness Rules The High School Recruiting Season

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the pettiness of college football’s National Signing Day.I have to admit University of Miami Hurricanes head…

Elitist National Magazine Endorses Luke For Mayor

You know Uncle Luke is the true front runner when even the New Yorkers are telling Miami-Dade voters to elect him county mayor. New York magazine officially joined the movement today. Writer Amos Barshad notes “it doesn’t take a friggin’ expert to know that former 2 Live Crew svengali Luther…

Uncle Luke Runnin, Uncle Luke Runnin, Uncle Luke Runnin

We don’t know about all of you, but we’re pretty sick and tired of certain Miami-Dade politicians who keep resorting to their legal attack strategies to stop the will of the people. It’s damn time we get ourselves a true leader, a champion of the first amendment, who’s gonna come…