Raul Martinez Is Sorry He Paved The Way For Julio Robaina

​Last time Raul Martinez ran for elected office, he got handed his only and worst defeat of his political career. He was part of a Democratic tag team that was supposed to topple the Diaz-Balart oligarchy controlling two of Miami’s Hispanic U.S. Congressional seats. The coup failed miserably and we…

Guns N’ Roses, Chinese Democracy, and the Ancient Art of Patience

​Sometime toward the end of the second Dubya Bush term, we found ourselves on the back patio of a Downtown Miami nightclub in full-throttle Friday night mode. Inside the club, sweaty bodies writhed and wiggled all over each other like an overturned bucket of earthworms. Rightfully so, as the tunes…

Memorial Day Weekend Needs Me

Luther “Luke” Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke announces plans to reclaim Memorial Day Weekend on Miami Beach.Six months ago, a young man died and…

Judy Waldman is in Prime Company With Homestead Mayor Steve Bateman

A family of real estate developers who avoided paying more than $100,000 in code violations in Homestead thanks to Mayor Steve Bateman sure knows how to spoil the city’s elected officials. Through various corporations they own, Eduardo, Fred, and Larry Abbo also contributed $5,500 to Vice-Mayor Judy Waldman’s reelection campaign…

Carlos Gimenez is the Same as the Old Boss

Anyone expecting some radical new ideas from Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez can just forget about it. Just like his predecessor, Gimenez is screwing over the county employees who can least afford it, while letting the fat-cat bureaucrats continue collecting their six-figure annual salaries.Earlier today, blogger Bill Cooke posted a list…

Sugared Woodchuck with Gangsta Pudding, Anyone?

The restaurant world can almost be boiled down to two basic kinds of restaurants — restaurants that serve simple dishes and restaurants that have menus that read more Cirque du Soleil than food.Consider Miami’s own Barton G. restaurant. Dishes include cheeky monkey mahi, lobster pop tarts and coconut-crusted voodoo shrimp…

Marc Sarnoff is the Top Rain Maker in Miami

​Miami city commissioner Marc Sarnoff has collected nearly half a million dollars in his reelection bid, leading all candidates in the money raising front for the upcoming November election. Of the three incumbents on the ballot, Sarnoff faces the stiffest competition with four opponents who have some name recognition and…

Flower Vendors, Stand Up. Libertarians Sue Hialeah.

A new group of lawyers is taking the side of Hialeah street vendors. The Institute for Justice is suing the city of Hialeah today on behalf of the mobile sales folk, saying the city’s regulations are too tough. This is a little bizarre, considering you probably see more guys vendiendo…

Gumby’s Creator, Art Clokey’s 90th Bday: Five Gumby Food Cartoons

Art Clokey, the creator of Gumby and his horsey sidekick Pokey, would have been 90 today. Clokey spent more than 50 years perfecting claymation and stop-action film techniques.Kids just cared about Gumby and Pokey. Clokey died in January, 2010 at the age of 88. He asked that contributions be made…

Lil Wayne Snaps Back at Luther Campbell

​Seems Lil Wayne laid off the sizzurp for a brief second to respond to Luther Campbell’s ultimatum that President Carter needs to start investing more time helping Miami’s less fortunate souls or else. Last night, Young Weezy, via his handle @LilTunechi, tweeted, “This Nigga Luke trippin!!! I ain’t feelin khaled rite…