Matchmaking With Mugshots, a Nervous Chuckle, and a Beard-Off

​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Deede Weithorn Denounces FP&L’s Monopoly On Miami Beach

​After having a conversation about Florida Power & Light with Commissioner Deede Weithorn, Banana Republican is convinced it’s time for an Occupy Turkey Point rally. It’s bad enough the Florida Public Service Commission approved a rate increase for FP&L so the utility giant can cover $20 million in nuclear costs…

Matisyahu Shaves His Beard, Says: “No More Chassidic Reggae Superstar”

Is a Matisyahu without a beard like “A King Without a Crown”? Yesterday, in a sudden move that shocked every member of Planet Earth’s Hasidic reggae community to the etsem (or bone for all you non-Hebrew speakers), everyone’s favorite Jewish emcee, Matisyahu (born Matthew Paul Miller), shaved off his famous…

Lincoln Diaz-Balart Lies While Shilling for Genting In Herald Op-Ed Piece

In Saturday’s edition of the Miami Herald, former U.S. Congressman Lincoln Diaz-Balart penned an opinion letter shilling for his client, Genting, the Malaysian-based gaming conglomerate that wants to transform the last prime piece of downtown Miami’s waterfront land into a gargantuan casino.Diaz-Balart cautions Herald readers “to see through the scare…

Hey Whole Foods: Stop the Crap

​The U.S. Department of Labor Office of Public Affairs is suing Whole Foods in an attempt to “reinstate a former employee with full back wages and benefits after the company allegedly fired the worker for voicing and reporting workplace health concerns regarding a raw sewage spillage at its store in…

A Real-Life Pretty Lady, Young Don King, and Future Hair

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

I’m Lovin’ You: McWeddings at McDonald’s

Forget Las Vegas; get married at McDonald’s! The world’s largest fast-food burger chain has a lot of, shall we say, interesting items on its menu, such as the McLobster and the McAfrica burger. But three McDonald’s restaurants in Hong Kong offer something altogether different: weddings and engagement parties.The basic “Warm…

FAMU Is Not Penn State: Hazing Should Not Kill A Storied Program

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Campbell comes to the defense of Florida’s largest historically African-American university, which has been caught up in a deadly…

Rep. Erik Fresen, Pro-Gambling Lawmaker, Owes Thousands To The IRS

Over the past six months, state Rep. Erik Fresen has established himself as the go-to-politician for the gambling industry tycoons who want to bring gargantuan casino resorts to the Magic City. The lawmaker from Coral Gables is the mastermind behind one of two proposed bills that would allow Malaysian-based Genting…