John Raimondo is a bit player in the 1999 epic three-part Miami New Times series “Pain & Gain,” which blockbuster Hollywood director Michael Bay turned into a passion project that hit theaters over two weeks ago. Starring Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, the film recounts the absurd dark…
Bar fights: The result of way too much liquid courage combined with high levels of testosterone. Or, in some cases, cattiness. They usually happen near the end of the night when someone either gives you the “stank eye” or hits on your man (or woman) right in front of you…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke wants to see justice for Kiera Wilmot. In Bartow, Florida, public school and law enforcement officials are committing a…
Now that the debate about using public funds to fix up Sun-Life Stadium is over, there is an even much bigger public works project that should have Miami-Dade taxpayers especially concerned. For more than a year, officials for the water and sewer department have been working on a $1.5 billion…
Last week, Cord Jefferson, a columnist for BET Network, wrote a response to my column “Free Condoms Now.” He claimed I was wasting time giving out prophylactics and educating black people about safe sex. “The fact of the matter is that African-American young people don’t necessarily need Uncle Luke to…
Fraud Central Canada is better: After reading your piece about Medicare fraud in the Sunshine State (“Thieves’ Bazaar,” Chris Parker, May 2), I have to say that Americans, especially in Florida, amaze those of us in Canada. I’m glad to see your problems with Cuban rip-off artists, because it’s the…
It’s not gonna be easy to follow the dictatorial footsteps of North Miami Mayor Andre Pierre. Throughout his tenure as the city’s head cheese, Pierre had done just about everything to attract the kind of attention usually reserved for a small nation’s despot. His campaign manager was arrested for allegedly…
Martha Stewart has joined Match.com. The 71-year-old domestic diva is looking for love on the Internet dating site. While it’s great to think that Martha is actually looking for love, one has to wonder just how sincere the whole process is. While there really is a profile on Match.com (and…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses Stephen Ross’ next move. In the battle of Miami billionaires, Norman Braman beat Stephen Ross thanks to…
An otherwise mundane Monday afternoon at the Richard Gerstein Justice Building was interrupted by a fiery calamity. A maroon colored Jeep parked in the public lot underneath the State Road 836 overpass caught on fire, sending plumes of acrid black smoke onto the sidewalk and street facing the criminal court…
For the past month, Riptide had been pounding the drum about Tremont Towing snatching cars from a private parking lot on 17th Street at Lenox Avenue in South Beach. Multiple residents have lobbed a laundry list of allegations at the lot, including that it’s meter is deliberately similar to the…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke responds to a BET columnist’s criticisms. Two days ago, Cord Jefferson, a young columnist for BET Networks looking to…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
The employee at Dena Marino’s Mercato was busy. He played on his iPhone, filled out his W-4 form, and stared diligently into open space. He did not want to be interrupted. So I left the Design District breakfast and lunch spot with a few unanswered questions. See also: – Dena…
African-Americans Need to Use Condoms
Reader Mail: Don’t Let Downtown Clubs Ruin Wynwood
Folks looking for a parking spot near Lincoln Road’s Regal South Beach movie theater need to stop using the private lot on 17th Street at Lenox Avenue. Because it’s becoming increasingly clear that’s the only surefire way to avoid getting your car hitched by Tremont Towing and having to pay…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke talks about the importance of safe sex. When New York-based prophylactics company b Condoms approached me about doing…
The background noise of small talk from athletes finishing the Mercedes-Benz Corporate Run was interrupted by the roaring sound of motors as a group of about 15 bikers swarmed El Vato into Mary Brickell Village. The guys of the Cartel Baggers and Peterson’s Harley-Davidson were blasting David Guetta’s “Beautiful People”…
How much can you get for a donated 2005 Toyota Prius previously owned by Miami-Dade County? A cool 8,200 bucks. Talk about a steal of a deal! Too much of a steal, according to the Miami-Dade Office of the Inspector General. And now it has cost a well-respected Cuban-American human…
Between 1984 and 1989, Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas, as “Sonny” and “Rico,” respectively, were the coolest motherfuckers on television, eliminating highly dramatized drug crime ’round South Beach in pimp Armani blazers over pastel t-shirts on NBC’s Miami Vice every Friday night. And just like show itself, music featured…
