Pay Your Dues and Taxes, Snipes

​Wesley Snipes can learn a lot from Martha Stewart. He starts a three-year prison sentence tomorrow in Pennsylvania for tax-related infractions. But rather than accepting his punishment like a man, he bitched to Larry King last night on CNN about how “upset and disappointed that the system seems to not…

The TSA Is Racist And Stupid

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gets in on the Transportation Safety Administration body scanner controversy.The Transportation Security Administration employees get to see…

Why All Chef Interviews Should Be Ten Words Or Less

Chef Giovanni Arias, new head chef at Canyon Ranch Hotel & Spa, recently talked with Feast Miami about his new gig. When asked what he brings “to the Canyon Ranch table,” Arias replied: “I can bring out the best of any ingredient and transform a simple and fresh dish to…

Jersey Shore Season 4 May Shoot in Miami

We miss Snooki almost every single day, and when the crew headed off in their black Escalades at the end of Jersey Shore’s Miami-set second season back to whatever hell it is they came from we thought we’d never see her again (well, save for an odd club appearance here…

Miami Dolphins Offense Finally Shows Up

Here is a shocker. The Miami Dolphins finally scored more than 30 points this season. It was an offensive explosion for 471 yards that featured two big play touchdowns by running back Ricky Williams and undrafted rookie wide receiver Marlon Moore. Watching Williams gallop 45 yards for a touchdown that…

Linda Robertson Canonizes Uncle Luke

The last time we wrote about Miami Herald sports columnist Linda Robertson, we ribbed on her for being duped by a couple of Broward guys pretending to be real Russian basketball fans. But this time, we gotta give her props for penning a well researched piece on New Times columnist…

Pat Riley, It’s Time to Get Back in the Game

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke recommends Pat Riley pull a Stan Van Gundy on Erik Spoelstra.Pat Riley needs to stop wasting time…

Chef vs. Cook: Is There A Difference Between the Two?

In an interview with Eater, Nigella Lawson promotes her new cookbook, Nigella Kitchen. Yet this curvaceous cookbook author, TV personality, and all around fabulous foodie who has a way of making even a grilled cheese sound sultry and sexy stands fast that she is not a chef.Eater: Why do you…

Magadog’s Ska, Soul, and Roots Reggae Mashup

Magadog Self-titled (Moon Ska Reocrds) myspace.com/magadogtampa It’s hard to believe Magadog has been soldiering since 1992. This band (and this album in particular) recall a time in life when going to shows with a group of friends was 100-percent fun. I’m referring to cool Sunday night shows at the now-defunct…

Miami Book Fair Clueless On Cookbooks

​The food industry is hot hot hot. Chefs are hot hot hot. Restaurants are hot hot hot. Food networks and food festivals and food anythings are hot hot hot. Cookbooks are hot hot hot. Seems as though every chef in the world has written one this year – except for…

Luis Bofill’s “No Me Vuelvo a Enamorar”

Luis Bofill got his start in Cuba’s Nueva Trova movement of the late ’70s with the group Cuba Nueva. From there, he would cut a mean rug as an exciting interpreter of standards and for generating an infectious blend of jazz, rumba, Latin, and Afro-beat. He’s been calling Miami his…