Opinion & Commentary

The Miami-Dade Ethics Commission is accusing Miami City Commissioner Marc Sarnoff of failing to report a pretty sweet trip to Brazil earlier this year as a gift. Back in April, the Greater Miami Convention & Visitors Bureau covered all of Sarnoff’s traveling expenses when he and his wife Teresa traveled…

We’ve all been there. And now we totally realize that two months’ worth of rolling balls was a bad idea. But shit … It was fun. And drugs are what your 20s are for, right? DJ Laz did it. “When I was 27 or 28, I did Ecstasy for about…

Acme Bakery owner Alejandro Ortiz responded quickly and thoughtfully to this week’s restaurant review. What follows is his response:…

For this week’s cover story, I profiled Lazaro Mendez, AKA DJ Laz, the booty bass pioneer and FM radio personality who provided the soundtrack to thousands of teenagers growing up in south Florida since the late 1980s, including Banana Republican.Over the course of two months, I hung out with Laz…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke defends a flamboyant former NFL star.The mainstream sports media has been dogging NFL Hall of Famer Deion Sanders…

Have y’all ever asked a woman to “leave them teeth out” while performing oral and then called her a “hoe” [sic]? Neither have we. ‘Cause Crossfade ain’t no crude dickheads like Chris Brown and know full well that every blowie should have a little bit of teeth have far more…

It was the summer of 1991. I was a teenager hanging with my friends at Hot Wheels Skating Center in Kendall for a concert. I can’t recall who was performing, but I will never forget the flamboyant, muscular Puerto Rican dude in a tight shimmering silver mesh shirt and skinny…

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

What might’ve happened if the original Thanksgiving had taken place in Little Havana, a part of Miami known for its café cubano, delicious croquetas, and out-of-control feline infestations? Well, according to a theory put forward by Pitbull on Twitter today, we might all be eating “a cat instead of a…

As we wake up this morning in honor of the Pilgrims and Indians of yesteryore by sharing a bountiful meal with friends and relatives, Banana Republican and a few of our friends in the Miami blogosphere wanted to show our gratitude to the jive turkeys passing themselves off as do…

A millionaire accused of massacring mangroves on his property narrowly won the vice-mayor’s post in yesterday’s Palmetto Bay run-off. John DuBois beat Brian Pariser by 28 votes to claim the seat.Those 28 voters apparently didn’t care that the Miami-Dade Department of Environmental Protection has tagged DuBois for “causing irreparable harm…

On Monday, Miami Circuit Court Judge Ellen Leesfield gave Miami Heat minority owner Raanan Katz a clear path to the basket. She granted him a temporary injunction to stop a formerly anonymous blogger from writing “defamatory blogs” about Katz. In her order, Leesfield also hinted that she expects Katz to…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke goes after Miami Democrats for supporting losers in local elections.Miami-Dade Democrats are feeling mighty good about President Barack…

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian will officially receive the key to the city of North Miami this morning, because that’s just the cold, sad, dark world we live in now a days…

On its website, Design Place at 5175 NE Second Court is billed as the Design District’s most desirable Miami condo rental community for young professionals, graduate students and small families. But a local organization that fights unfair housing practices is suing SPV Realty, a New York company that owns the…

You know what the Spanish-language music world needs? More LMFAO. And luckily, after douching it up with Mexican “EDM” boy band 3BallMTY at last night’s Latin Grammys, SkyBlu of currently-on-hiatus hip-pop visionaries Loving My Friends and Others revealed his new hobbies … Fucking with Latin tunes and Rosetta Stone. “I’m…

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Do we want our kids fuckin’ wit’ Gunplay? That was the question when the Miami rapper and accused armed robber placed a surprise call to internet radio’s Combat Jack Show today. “I don’t make music for [children],” replied Mr. Play (born Richard Morales Jr.), still chillin’ at his crib on…

Luke’s Gospel: Cubans Go Liberal; Bye, Marco Rubio

Long Voting Lines Were a GOP Plot